#he probably left during the night to get stuff or leave the clues in his room etc

[muzothecat]

Today in Danganronpa V3 : February 1st, Day 21

In the morning, Harukawa comes to Saihara's room and asks him to come to the dining hall.

She had found a Flashback Light in there and says they should watch it before making other decisions.

From it, they learn they were actually students from Hope's Peak Academy, and Ouma is a member the Remnants of Despair, the organization they were facing who worshipped Junko Enoshima.

Inspired by Kiibo's words, everyone regains Hope and decides to stop Ouma.

Ouma and Momota are currently in the hangar.

(^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Most important part btw)

So to break in they will need the Electrobomb Harukawa stole and the Electrohammers which are currently out of battery. They take 24h to recharge so they will make their move tomorrow morning.

Harukawa is intent on killing Ouma but the others dissuade her.

In the evening, Saihara goes to the hangar alone and sees Monokuma being surrounded by 4 Exisals. He tries to peer inside from the toilet window and ends up face to face with Momota.

He tells him they will come to his rescue tomorrow but he says he'll also find a way somehow. They are able to reconcile before Saihara goes back to his room.

[babybluebex]

imagine being in a movie with dom, and you have to film a *special* scene… like the aftermath???? the chemistry???? dying 😩😩😩

oh ok. walk with me for a second here. (the good stuff's under the cut, so if you don't care ab my little schpiel about how these scenes are filmed, just go straight to under the cut)

so here's a Film Industry Tidbit: before love/sex/whatever-you-wanna-call-it-scenes, there's a rehearsal process that involves an intimacy coordinator, and like their WHOLE JOB is choreographing and rehearsing and blocking scenes like this, it's becoming more and more prevalent on film sets to ensure all parties in these sorts of scenes are being treated fairly and with consent and there's also certain garments that are required of actors to wear in filming these scenes, little like strapless thongs and pouches and shit, like NEVER on a film set will you just be expected to be completely naked and left to your own devices to simulate sex

anyway. off my soapbox. you and dom have to film one of those scenes, and you know this before you sign onto the movie, and you two meet at the table read and he's warm and friendly, you instantly feel like great friends

and you rehearse for the movie and everything, costume fittings and screen tests and things, and even though you're smiling and laughing with dom, The Scene is starting to weigh on your mind bc like, aw hell you're starting to actually like him a lot and you don't know if you can be normal about this scene

and it comes time to specifically rehearse The Scene, and the intimacy coordinator is very nice, understanding that you're both young actors who haven't filmed something like this before and don't know what to expect, and she starts with some "easy" icebreaker questions "what are your boundaries during sex?" and dom is a little red in the face but takes it serious "i guess i don't love when a girl pulls my hair... not my favorite" and then it comes time for you to answer and you're like crap and sigh "i, um, i've never had sex, so i don't really know..." and you feel dom's eyes on you but you can't dare to look at him

the scene is supposed to be very passionate and gentle and romantic, but you don't have a CLUE what that looks like, but dom sure seems like he does, because he's figuring out where to hold you and how to naturally do the scene, and you're doing what you can with what you know, touching his face and cupping the back of his neck, and dom throws out a suggestion "maybe you can, like, drag your nails down my back? would that look good on camera?" and you're Confused "why would i do that?" and he's not cocky, it's a very genuine answer, but his words still make you run hot all the same: "because it's gonna feel good"

you leave the rehearsal and dom's his usual self "wanna grab a drink? there's a little bar close to here i've heard about" and you have to be like "i, um, have— my-my call time is really early tomorrow, i gotta—"

"nah, i got you, don't sweat it, it's fine" he chuckles "maybe we can grab that drink friday night... i'll probably fuckin' need it"

"what's on friday?" and you immediately regret asking because you already know the answer, you remember the schedule

"we film the sex scene on friday" dom tells you and you're like right, right, but pretty quickly flee the scene and go home

and then friday rolls around. it's a closed set, as you requested, and your director was more than happy to work that out for you, and you're in the makeup trailer, kinda halfheartedly chatting with your makeup girl as she gets you ready, a very naturally pretty no-makeup look for what's supposed to be an early-morning-just-woke-up sorta sex scene, and you're about to divulge to her how nervous you are to film, and then the door opens and in he strolls wearing a robe, biting into a peach as he settles into his chair

and you don't really talk to each other, both obviously nervous as hell, and he finally mumbles "this fucking thing..." and shifts in his seat and you're like "you good?" and he goes pink and chuckles "yeah, they've got me strapped in here and it doesn't hurt but it's not comfy" and you're like ??? strapped in?? and he's uncharacteristically bashful "they've got me wearing a pouch... it covers everything... i feel so exposed and yet totally covered at the same time" "yeah, like when you're naked with only socks on, suddenly you feel way more naked than if you just weren't wearing socks" you tell him and he nods enthusiastically "exactly! nobody's gonna see my dick, but it feels like everyone's gonna be looking, and that's somehow worse than if my dick was actually out" and you laugh and like whew ice broken thank god

you get on set and take off the robe and quickly slip into the bed, and you hope he can't see your heartbeat through your chest as he does the same, and your mouth goes a little dry at his body, pale freckled skin, tattoo on his belly, bony hips and bandy chest (and that god-awful flesh-colored sack around his dick) but fuck his arms feel so strong as he hugs you into his body to start the scene, and you know that you won't survive if you have to do it multiple times so you resolve to nail every line and movement so that it's a one and done sorta thing

your director calls action, and you and dom "sleep" for a few moments before you start, shifting your legs under the sheets as you "wake up", and you hear him make a soft noise from behind you as he too wakes up, and his strong arm tightens around your waist, and when he speaks, his voice is low and scratchy, the sexiest morning voice you've ever heard "you awake, honey?"

"mhm" you hum, and your skin prickles as he starts to set kisses on your back and shoulder

"good" he says, and all of your rehearsal for the scene has prepared you for this, but doing it on camera, for real this time, is no match for being fully clothed and sorta miming through it, and when he moves you onto your back and smooths his rough hands up your thighs, it's suddenly so hard to breathe, especially when he hits his blocking and starts to kiss down your body and looks up at you with those dark eyes through his eyelashes, and you manage to get out your line "baby? will you make love to me?" and he laughs "anything you want, honey"

a camera shift for a different angle, an awkward few moments of waiting, and then the part you're SERIOUSLY nervous for comes, and your director calls action, and dom doesn't waste a second to kiss you like his life depends on it and to start moving his body between your thighs, acting his little heart out, and you're doing what you rehearsed, the wrinkled eyebrows and stuttered breathing, and pulling your nails down his shoulderblade, and then he deviates??? like motherfucker this is NOT part of the plan!!! when he whines a little "harder" and you're like "huh??" "nails, in my skin, harder... mark me up, make me yours, baby" and you instantly roll with the punches "you're already mine"

and you swear you see god as you film that scene, it's the most sensual thing you've ever experienced in your life, best sex ever and it wasn't even real sex, and you finish filming earlier than scheduled ("what can i say, i'm a pro" dom jokes) and you start to go to your trailer after getting out of costume because what the fuck just happened to you, and dom's like "hey! you promised me a drink tonight" "i promised no such thing" "well, indulge me?" and it's those SAME doe eyes from earlier and you sigh "one drink, dom, then i'm going home"

three rounds of shots and half a jack and coke later, and you're divulging to him what was going through your head during his little improvisation that day, "no, because you saying to do it harder? i was like 'what the fuck is he doing'??" and he laughs and rolls his eyes, but leans into you all the same "eh, whatever, that's how i like it" "you like getting hurt? that doesn't sound sexy at all" "not 'getting hurt' exactly" and he's tracing his pinkie on your knee as he thinks "but like... being marked, showing people that you're owned by someone... not in like a weird way, but... i don't know how to explain it..." and maybe it's the jack in your drink plus the three green tea shots you had, or maybe you're just sick and tired of being nervous, because you say "show me" and now it's HIS turn to be confused and go "huh?" "show me what you mean. you don't have to use words if you can't find them" and he breathlessly laughs "honey, please" and he's never called you that off camera before "you can't just say that to me" "well why not?" "we're both drunk" he starts and hits you with those eyes again "and if anyone on set knew that we came out to a bar, and then spotted us going into the same trailer together... people'll talk" "oh c'mon, i know you don't give a shit about if people talk" you said "what's the real problem?" and his pinkie goes under your skirt and sorta curls in the hem for a moment, and he bites his lip and slowly releases it "well... for one... i'd like for you to be able to walk normally tomorrow, because if i get you in my bed... honey, you got me so worked up earlier, it's a miracle i didn't get hard, and i don't think i could stop myself from doing some very bad things to you tonight" "oh?" and you're trying to be cool and calm but youre FREAKING OUT inside "like what?" "jesus christ" dom whispers "i also don't want your first time to be like this, a drunken mistake with a coworker, you deserve better than m-that" and you hear what he stopped himself from saying, you deserve better than me, and you put down your drink and cup his jaw and make him look up from your lap "it won't be a mistake" you tell him and he swallows hard and his eyes are locked on your lips, silently begging for you "dominic..." and that gets him to look you in the eyes "i think you should take me home"

and he gets you in his trailer, and the bed's not huge but it's good enough for the two of you, and suddenly his kisses and touches feel more natural than if you had rehearsed it a thousand times, the way he kisses your tits and travels down and helps undress you, down to your socks, and you start to go for them but he's like "no, no... keep em on" and once again you're confused by him but he's like "you said you feel more naked like this than if you're actually naked... i want you to be exposed for me, vulnerable... spread out... begging for it..." and he's steady kissing your inner thigh, waiting for your okay to go further and you think you just might burst into flames, and your legs open for him and he doesn't waste a second to put his mouth on you

the night lasts until it's nearly dawn, laying together, talking in hushed tones, fucking, unable to keep your hands off each other, and he looks like a god, his skin all golden and supple with sweat, messy hair, red puffy lips, and his gaze is so soft and gentle at you, holding you and playing with your fingers, and he says "do you regret this?" "no" and you get a little scared "do you?" "no" he tells you "i was just worried that... i don't know, i somehow failed you or something, being the one to..." "you didn't fail me, dommy," you tell him, and his cheeks twitch with a smile "i couldn't have asked for better" "i just feel like—" dom starts but you kiss him to shut him up, and his hands go to your face, holding you close as his tongue claims your mouth for the millionth time that night "dom" you break the kiss "did i cum?" "did you—" and he furrows his eyebrows "yeah. a few times. i mean, right? you did, right?" "i did" you tell him "you made me cum, a couple of times, on our first night together, and i don't know a lot about sex, but that seems indicative of a pretty good night together, right?" "i just feel like i could've done more to show you how i feel about you" dom mumbles, and you shake your head "i don't need all that" you say "big romantic gestures or whatever, that's not me... i'm telling you, this was perfect" "ok" dom whispers and you can tell he's not exactly satisfied, but whatever "as long as you let me make it up to you someday" "how would you do that?" you ask, and he leans in and kisses your neck, slowly moving between your thighs again "i'd get you a nice outfit" he whispers "something that really makes you look just gorgeous, something that makes every guy in the room look at you and wish you were theirs... take you to dinner, wherever you want... fly you to paris if you'd like..." "oh yeah?" and you wanna be playful and flirty, but god you're so turned on you can't think straight, and it takes very little maneuvering for him to slip inside you again, and he sorta trails off his thoughts as he fucks you, touching his forehead to yours, and you do what he asked of you and dig your nails into the skin of his back and make long claw marks down his back "dommy?" and he grunts in response as he works "i think i wanna be your girl" "god, please" he whispers "i wanna be your guy so fucking bad"

and when a PA comes to dom's trailer for his wake up call once the sun's up, you have to untangle yourself from him, and you bid him goodbye with a big kiss, and he says "don't think we're done here, okay? more's coming tonight. remember those bad things i said i wanna do to you? still want that" and he winks and god yeah you're a lucky gal <3

[rebelliousstories]

Tall, Dark, and Handsome

Relationship: David Loki x Reader

Fandom: Prisoners

Request: Yes by Anon

Warnings: Fluff, Pinning, Mentions of Dark Themes including Death, Abuse, Horrible Childhoods, and Crimes Against Children

Word Count: 2,808

Masterlist: Here

Jake Gyllenhaal & Co. Masterlist: Here

Summary: There were two things that David Loki knew to be true; 1. There was a mysterious cup of coffee on his table when ever he left the room. And 2. The woman he likes has no clue about his feelings.

There were certain universal truths. The sun would come up, only to be replaced by the moon. Humans needed air, water, and food to survive. And David Loki was a workaholic. He was in the prescient by 6:00 A.M. and often left by 6:00 P.M. if there was no case. If there was a case, he spent the night in a jail cell bed instead of going home. He poured his heart and soul into his work. The other universal truth that would happen like clockwork; a coffee would always be waiting on his desk shortly before he arrived at work.

Some days, it would be there right as he walked to his desk for the first time. Some days, it would be there shortly after he left his desk in the morning after dropping off his stuff. If he was sleeping overnight, a fresh cup was waiting for him patiently outside the cell. For just about as long as he had worked in the station, this had happened. It infuriated the man. For years, David had yet to find out who this person was, or why they left a cup of coffee for him first thing in the morning. While he really appreciated the gesture, he would have preferred if he was able to know the identity of the person. Surprisingly, being a detective didn’t help. He didn’t notice anyone staring at him for a long time, or frequenting his area of the department more than they had to.

Eight years this had tortured him. Eight years of a cup of coffee every day he worked. Thousands of cups of coffee over the last eight years, and he still had no clue who left them for him. Loki realized a while ago that his secret admirer would remain a secret forever it seems. Sure, he had his theories, but they were for the most part probably credible, except one that he viewed as outlandish.

Theory number one: Cheryl. She worked as a secretary, essentially. Doing the filing, paperwork, organizing media and press. She always made sure to tell everyone that she had to leave the police academy for personal reasons, otherwise she would have been in uniform. Her leaving had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she was trying to sleep her way through the department to get passed through the academy. David always thought she was a decent worker, but she definitely was trying to not have to work super hard. Cheryl’s sights had been set on the detective since she set foot inside the department. Her advances used to be very brazen, until a few straight to the point shut downs turned her away from trying with Loki again. That didn’t stop the longing glances, and the rumors that she started to circulate. Rumors that they had in fact been together secretly but had to break it off. Most people just tuned her out; who would believe that David Loki would have the time for a partner?

One theory he hoped wasn’t true.

Theory number two: Jessie.

Jessie was a kind, older woman that looked after the prescient and its members. She brought in brownies, cookies, and food for the detectives and officers. David didn’t see much of her during his shift due to her work in the evidence room, but she was his only other legitimate theory. He could see her leaving the coffee on his desk, as she watched how he overworked himself. But there were definitely times that he had his normal coffee, and she had yet to show up for work or even work at all that day.

He wouldn’t mind that theory being true; sure as hell beats the first one. But that only left him with his last theory that he hoped was true, but was definitely not.

Theory number three: her. His crazy and outlandish theory, that he hoped was true but knew it wasn’t, was her. A quiet obsession with the woman had snuck up on him a few years ago. David never actively looked for a partner, being a workaholic and too concerned about doing his job than having a wife and kids. It didn’t mean that he didn’t want that life, but it never seemed to come up at an opportune moment. Either wrong person, or wrong place, but she made his mind want to work for that kind of life. All it took though was a few times of talking to each other, late into the evening, when they should have been home but instead were working on the same case. Loki didn’t like anyone else stepping in on his work, detective or officer. But, it just so happened that the captain had assigned them to work together on the case because of the sheer magnitude of it.

At first, Loki was vehemently opposed to the assignment, but so was she. They both thought they worked best alone, without a partner. As the case went on, they butted heads multiple times and even got in a screaming match with each other. But the next morning, she was waiting by his car with a cup of coffee before they were suppose to go out to do some recon. From that point forward, there was a sort of energy around the pair as they worked. There was more discussion about life outside of work, and their personal preferences. Many nights were spent at the Chinese restaurant pouring over theories about the case and suspects. It was one of those nights at the Chinese restaurant that Loki realized that something was changing between them.

~

“So what about this, what’s his name, Norman O’Shea? How do we feel about this guy? I mean he certainly has the rap sheet to lend itself to doing something like this.” Her question made David pause mid bite to think. He looked up to catch her eyes before looking back down to his food. Chewing over his food and thoughts, the man swallowed before responding.

“What’s he got on him? I thought he was the wrong physical type from eye witnesses? They said a grey haired man, no glasses, and a grey beard was near the kids when they noticed them gone. Not a glasses wearing, clean shaven, black haired creep.” Flipping through the folders, she stared at Loki with a ridiculous expression.

“Do you know how easy it is to dye your hair and have no traces of it anywhere? Especially if you have prep time and a space away from your main residence to do so? Besides we’ve got four different counts of child charges, including kidnapping a girl one time.” Both detectives took a break to eat as they thought about the information.

“He’s at least worth going and talking to.” Loki offered as they finished their dinners. She looked down at her almost finished plate of rice, and quietly chuckled to herself. The small chuckle made Loki’s lips quirk up into a somewhat smile while he let out an even smaller chuckle.

“What?” He asked quietly. Watching as she shook her head gently, her chuckle died and her smile turned sad.

“Nothing. Just…” she trailed off and let her eyes wander over the detective’s tattoos on his hands.

“Just, cases like this, you know? Just, they remind me of my sister. Makes me think of how proud she’d be that I’m trying to help other kids like us.” Her eyes glazed over, and David leaned closer to the woman across the table from him.

“Kids like you?” He repeated back to her. He watched as she was knocked out of whatever memory that she was trapped in. Her throat cleared, and she pushed her hair back.

“Yeah, kids like us.” She rolled up her sleeve to reveal the beautiful artwork adorning her arm. A spiraling network of flowers of all different kinds, attached to one branch spread all over her arm. It disappeared into the bicep and rest of her sleeve in one direction, and ending in a small bloom on her pinky finger in the other.

“My older sister and I were ten and five when we were orphaned. Drunk driver killed both of our parents. Well, we became wards of the state and were sent to a girls home nearby,” she noticed how Loki sat up straighter at the mention of a children’s home.

“For a few years everything was fine. But then funding got cut when we were about fourteen and nine, and the home started failing. They couldn’t keep good employees and everything was dirty. My sister and I, we-” she abruptly stopped, staring straight at the blossom on her pinky.

“When we were fifteen and ten, we were playing in the back of the home one day. We saw a few of the former employees pull up around the back where we were and they just had us. We trusted them. No one looked for us for three months. No one cared to. And the things we endured in the time between our capture to our rescue, it ended up killing my sister. She got an infection in one of the wounds on her leg. Two days later they finally found us, but it was too late for her. She died in my arms. When they got us, it had been almost a year to the day that we went missing.” Her hands started scratching at her own legs. Not scratching, picking. She was trying to pick at her skin through her jeans.

“Well that’s my sob story on why I became a detective. Sorry if I talk too much.” Her eyes adverted to the ground beside their table out of embarrassment. Loki didn’t know what to say after that. Having been through his own hardships, it was hard finding someone who understood why some people become the law. The law didn’t help either of them until it was too late; they kept themselves alive through hell. After having a moment of silence, Loki finally got his words back.

“I was at Huntington. The boys home.” She looked back up to now see David was staring at her, waiting for some sort of response.

“Huntington, huh? We were right next door at Doealair.” The two detectives started to chuckle, finding common ground in their childhoods.

“Here’s to messed up youth.” He raised his coffee cup in the air.

“To messed up youth.” She mirrored him and clinked their cups together.

~

From that night on, the two detectives became close. It was the closest thing that either one of them had to a friend in years. They would often get dinner together when time would allow, and they were the only one that the other would accept help from on cases. But it wasn’t enough that David thought he had a chance with her.

Sure, he looked out for the woman. He made sure that if she needed to take a break, he would usher her into a cell to sleep while he took on the paperwork. On a couple of occasions, he had driven her home because she was too tired to drive safely. David would ask for her opinions on cases when he was stuck, an implied ask for help was always there. He never voiced it aloud, but he cared for her more than he probably should. And it seemed that maybe she did too. She brought him food on long nights, and asked for his advice on cases. Generally, she held the same attitude towards the captain that he did: respect with a heaping cup of stay out of my investigation. She joined him in doing paperwork next to each other just so they would have a little bit of company. But it was still not enough to convince David that she was the culprit of the mysterious coffee.

Loki tossed and turned at night, always on edge. He never could get a full nights rest, which lent itself to the dark circles constantly around his eyes and his dependance on caffeine in the form of coffee. When he finally was able to pull himself out of bed, the drive to work took less time than normal. Which meant he was getting to work before he arrived, a full thirty minutes before he normally clocked in. Which meant, a full twenty minutes before she was suppose to be in. But when he got in, immediately, David was pulled into the captain’s office. For the entirety of his spare thirty minutes, he sat in there and listened to the man go on and on about the current case the detective was on. Nothing of importance was being said, just that he needed to wrap it up fast.

When Loki was finally released, it was time to get to work, which meant coffee. However, when he reached his desk, there was no coffee to be found. The man looked over at her desk, which had her stuff thrown haphazardly across, like she was in a rush. In any case, he made his way into the kitchen for his first of many cups of coffee, only to find a strange sight. There she was, making coffee. But another mug was next to her normal one; Loki’s normal mug was right next to hers. He watched from the threshold as she continued to make his coffee the same way he’d always drank it, no milk and two sugars. When she had nothing in her hands that could burn her, David spoke up.

“Is that my coffee?” He asked, startling the woman in front of him. She turned around fast and grasped her chest in fright. Several deep breaths were taken in, and she slowly recovered.

“Jesus David. Warn a girl next time.” Turning back to the coffees, she kept her eyes away from him. He stepped closer to her and leaned against the counter.

“Is that my coffee?” His question was repeated once more. Her gaze fell everywhere except his own eyes. She finished stirring the sugar into his coffee and dropped the stir stick in the garbage.

“Yes.” She quietly admitted as she slid the cup over to the man carefully. Loki accepted it and took a sip. Just how he liked his coffee. They stood there in silence, taking small sips from their coffee and not speaking about the obvious tension now in the room.

“Have you even leaving me coffees this whole time?” There it was. The question that demanded an answer. There was no way for her to lie; he caught her in the act of making his coffee. No one else in this department would know that the man liked a little sugar in his coffee. Everyone probably assumed he took it straight up. And now, she had to answer for her actions. Suddenly, her face felt hot. She was starting to think that this is what people felt like getting interrogated.

“Yes.” Another simple response.

“Why?” The question sounded simple, but they both knew that the answer was going to be anything but.

“Because, you deserve nice things. Even if it is just a cup of coffee now and then.” Her eyes still were looking away, having found her shoes to be the most interesting thing in the world at that moment. But they quickly became Loki’s shoes that she focused on as they stepped closer.

“Well, I’d like to return the favor. Maybe you’ll let me treat you to dinner tonight?” She shot up like a rocket at his words. Having expected him to deny her affections, this was certainly a turn for the better. She never thought she’d live to see the day that David Loki, tattooed, reclusive, badass detective, would look shy. But he did. He looked nervous to hear her response.

“Are you asking me out, Loki?” Her teasing words made the man crack a somewhat smile. They both knew what she wanted; a clear and direct proposal for a date.

“Maybe I am. Would you go out with me tonight?” He asked, this time a surge of confidence ran through him.

“A cup of coffee for a date? Seems like a fair trade. I’d like to go out with you tonight, David.” A full smile broke out across both of their faces, and they allowed themselves to bask in the moment before they inevitably had to get back to work. Going back to work was more difficult than before. Both detectives had to school their expressions as to not raise suspicions. And they had to be careful on how many times they glanced over at one another. But neither one could shake the butterflies from their stomach the entire day. Yeah, a cup of coffee a day might just bring someone tall, dark and handsome your way.

Going back to work was more difficult than before. Both detectives had to school their expressions as to not raise suspicions. And they had to be careful on how many times they glanced over at one another. But neither one could shake the butterflies from their stomach the entire day. Yeah, a cup of coffee a day might just bring someone tall, dark and handsome your way.

[decks-writing-blog]

Whatever the Fuck Benrey is: Chapter Seven: Perform Like a Circus Animal

Chapter One

Previous Chapter

~

“Wake the fuck up already, Gordon!”

It was a far less horrendous wake up call than the wretched blaring of Gordon’s alarm clock, but that didn’t make Benrey happy about it.

“You’re the one who volunteered us to ferry supplies like a bunch of goody two-shoes pack mules,” Bubby continued, just as loud. “So you gotta get up and get a move on already.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m awake.” Gordon’s voice rumbled in his chest where Benrey still lay against it. They’d shifted a bit, Gordon now lying partially on is back with Benrey on top. He was still fully under the blanket though so he was still hidden from Bubby’s view. “How’d you get in here? I locked the front door.”

“I picked it. You know where Benrey is? I’d thought he’d be in here, playing your Xbox or something.”

Gordon’s arms shifted around Benrey, holding him a bit tighter, as he rolled a bit more onto his side, bringing Benrey with him and thus hiding him better under the blanket. “He was last night. I got no clue where he is now. I’m sure he’ll show up again eventually, he always does. Now could you please leave so I can get out of bed?”

“You naked under there?”

“Yeah, so fuck off.”

“Don’t fall back asleep.” A moment later, the bedroom door closed.

Gordon held Benrey to his chest for a couple more seconds before sighing and shifting to lift the blanket so he could look down at Benrey. “Good morning. Sleep well?”

“Five more minutes?” Benrey didn’t need another five minutes of sleep but he also didn’t want to get up yet.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’. Unfortunately we can’t lie here for five more minutes because it’ll turn into an hour and we… or at least, I really do have stuff to do today. So move.”

Benrey groaned but obeyed because Gordon would probably push him if he didn’t. Upon sliding off the bed and stretching himself out, he already missed Gordon’s warmth. It was a like a hot shower than never ran cold and without all the wet that cooled too quickly when stepping out. … He could survive without it though. Being needy, clingy, and desperate for cuddles was kind of lame and so he wasn’t. A one time really nice cuddle was all he needed or wanted. He was set for life on that now.

“You weren’t there but last night we talked and agreed to ferry supplies for the rescue attempt that the other guys are putting together to look for people deeper in the facility. We’re also bringing back wounded to Tuefort. Technically since the stuff in the health packs apparently comes from you, you could probably heal them. But we’re trying to keep you secret and no one’s in life threatening danger so it’s fine. I volunteered to drive back all our personal stuff while Dr. Coomer, Bubby, and Tommy deal with the wounded. Meaning you’re riding back with me.” As he talked, Gordon cleaned his glasses before sliding them back on his face.

“Neat. You got a DS or PSP or some other handheld gaming thing I could play during the drive?”

“Uh… yeah, actually. I found my Game Boy Advance in the closet yesterday. There was even half a pack of batteries still with it. I haven’t touched it in a few years though so I can’t say for sure it’ll work but it probably should.”

Well on the off chance it was busted, Benrey could always ask Tommy to lend him a book. OSHA manuals were probably even more boring than normal books but they’d probably still beat staring out the car window at the unchanging desert. Though even that was better than staring at it as he walked it. But if push came to shove, he could just bother Gordon to keep himself entertained. So really, it’d be fine no matter what.

~

Naturally having no personal possessions left intact to pack up, Benrey was ready to leave first. It helped that he also didn’t have to bother with breakfast. He played the Xbox right up until Gordon forced him off so he could pack it up. Blessedly upon doing so he handed over a large tote bag with a picture of a cat on it that contained his promised Game Boy Advance and batteries for it along with a whole bunch of games and some cables. Apparently he had indeed been hiding the good stuff in his room.

Benrey then moved to sit and wait the car and sort through his new borrowed treasure trove of games while Gordon – with some help from Coomer – packed all of the Science Team’s stuff into trunk and the back seats. Said car was a company car, the Black Mesa logo painted on both sides. Meant for transporting things, it was bigger than Bubby’s but the seats were less comfortable. It had a Christmas tree air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror. An old one based off how little scent still clung to it.

Gordon, in typical Gordon fashion, ended up dawdling more than was necessary before getting into the driver’s seat and finally getting the show on the road. Tempting as it was to tease him for that, Benrey was already too absorbed in, new to him, Superstar Saga – Gordon’s selection of Game Boy games was much better than his paltry Xbox game collection – to think of something good. So he let it go… for now. Next time he dawdled for a long time when Bubby wasn’t around to urge him onward, Benrey would be sure to say something though. Had to keep him on his toes after all.

Other than the radio, playing soft only slightly staticky music, and the sound of the Game Boy, they rolled in silence for maybe a whole five minutes before Gordon broke it.

“So you can purr, huh?”

Before he could stop himself, Benrey flinched. His first instinct was to look at Gordon. A mistake he quickly remedied, setting his gaze back on the Game Boy even though he’d lost his train of thought with it. “What? No. Who told you that?”

“Last night, or I guess more like super early this morning, after the alarm woke us, you fell back asleep first and started purring.”

Damn it! He’d stamped down that urge and thought it defeated. Even after instead of having a funny reaction to Benrey being so close, Gordon had said he could stay which had been nice in an entirely different way, he hadn’t done it. Purring was cute and he may not know what he was beyond being not human but he did know he also wasn’t cute. Apparently whilst asleep his body had betrayed him.

“It was pretty cute,” Gordon continued at Benrey’s failure to respond, proving Benrey’s point.

“I’m not cute.” People in real life or in video games and movies labeled as ‘cute’ were almost never taken seriously. They were the side kick, rarely respected, often cooed at like a baby or dumb animal. Cute things were looked down upon, treated as less than.

“Nah, it was pretty damn cute, dude, adorable even.

“Shut up.”

Gordon chuckled. It wasn’t as nice as his laugh normally was because he was laughing at Benrey’s expense this time. “Does Tommy know?”

“No.” The only other people who knew were the scientists in charge of him. The way they’d treated it as a cute fun thing to show off to everyone like some kind of spectacle had convinced Benrey to never purr again. It had lead to the one and only he’d broken into their lab to destroy recordings of himself once they’d finally given up on trying to force him to do it again in person for everyone who wanted to see and instead had just showed the tapes. Since then, rare were the times he’d even felt tempted to purr, making it rather easy to not do while in front of anyone. Until last night apparently anyway. “Don’t tell him.”

Of course Gordon would tell though. Gordon barely tolerated him so why would he not share Benrey’s secret? It was cute and thus must be shared and shown off. And now not only Gordon but Tommy and the rest of the Science Team would know too and he would never live it down. Heck, maybe he’d already told them and they’d had a good laugh at his expense over breakfast.

“Okay, okay, I won’t tell.”

Pausing his game – he’d been doing nothing but running around in circles anyway – Benrey looked up at Gordon again. His eyes were on the road and his gun hand was pushed through one of the lower parts of the steering wheel, helping steer. His expression wasn’t much of anything other than generally relaxed, making it hard to tell if he was genuine. “Really?”

“Yeah, sure, unlike some people, I try to not be an asshole, so if it really bothers you, I won’t tell Tommy or anyone else.”

“Okay. Better keep that promise though or else.”

“Or else what?”

“Uh… I don’t know yet. Just don’t tell.”

“I won’t.” He was silent for a long moment after that, long enough that Benrey was about to return his attention to his Game Boy before he continued. “Can I ask, um… why you purr though? Like, uh, cats purr most of the time because of positive feelings. But you’re not a cat, obviously, so do you purr because you’re happy or is it something else? Like maybe it’s just something you do when you’re asleep. Or is it because you were having some kind of dream that… made you purr for whatever reason.”

“I don’t know. I just do it sometimes when I’m warm and cozy or whatever. It’s lame so I try avoid stuff that might make me feel like doing it.” Except last night but he wasn’t going to make that mistake again.

Gordon broke eye contact with the road to look at Benrey, his expression soft now. What exact emotion was behind it was hard to tell though. “Well… I don’t think it’s lame. It’s pretty soothing actually, like it sounds nice. Um, it helped me fall back asleep. So I don’t think you should be ashamed of it so much you avoid it or whatever.”

Benrey scoffed as he turned his attention back onto the Game Boy. What did Gordon even know about it? Nothing, that’s what. He wasn’t the one with the ability to purr and thus didn’t have to live with some people thinking him a cute, adorable thing to show off to everyone when finding out. So Benrey was done talking about it. He had a game to focus on.

***

Driving was quickly proving to not be as much of a distraction as Gordon had hoped it would be. In hindsight not surprising given he was driving through an empty dessert with nothing to look at but dirt. The only other cars were the two Bubby and Dr. Coomer had been lent – no sign of Bubby’s original car which would’ve made three, freeing up room for Tommy to drive as well instead of going with Dr. Coomer, but whatever – and they were both far enough ahead that he’d have to go out of his way to hit them.

So naturally, after only a few minutes, he resumed talking to Benrey. Finding out more about him would be worthwhile, for curiosity's sake but also they had some sort of tenuous friendship going so it’d be good to know more about him on that front too. Also, apparently somewhere along his hellish journey through Black Mesa Gordon had become the kind of person who always needed to be talking or listening to someone else talk. Making him annoying but Benrey was annoying too so he deserved it.

Over the next long while he subtly tried to get as much info out of Benrey about his past as he could. What kind of life had he lead in the lab? How had they treated him? What kind of experiments had they subjected him to and their results?

Trying not to ask any outright invasive questions made it easy for Benrey to slip around them with a lot of non-answers. He was distracted by his game of course but also some of it had to be purposeful avoidance. Gordon pressed for more here and there but never too hard lest it be sensitive. Resulting in him not learning as much as he’d have liked. He did confirm and reconfirm a few things though, such as, Benrey had indeed spent his whole entire life in the lab in the lab, he wasn’t sure if he’d been born, hatched, or made there in a tube or something else, and that when he’d talked about the scientists harvesting his ‘juice’ to turn into medical goo he had indeed meant his blood – they drew it out of him with needles.

“Did you have anyone who uh… you considered to be like a parent?”

“Nope.”

Gordon waited for a bit but of course no further answer came. Benrey was too focused on his game and/or just straight up didn’t want to elaborate. And Gordon couldn’t exactly ask him if he’d been mistreated, especially since that was probably a given, right?

“What about friends? Any of the scientists your friends?”

“You guys.”

“I mean like the scientists uh… assigned to you or whatever. Any of them your friend?”

“Nope.”

And so on and so forth, Gordon never quite daring to ask what he actually wanted to know. Giving up on that line of questioning and bringing up video games finally got a bit more though.

“First console I got was the original Game Boy, the one with like the green screen and no real colour. I stole it from one of my handlers pockets. Only had one game for it but it was fun. I kept in my gamer pad and made it a power thingy but then it got bombed so… it’s busted now.”

“Oh, uh, sorry about that.”

“It really blows. A real bummer.”

Gordon would’ve liked to offer some comfort but how did one comfort someone who hadn’t had much to begin with and then lost it all? Instead… “What do you mean you ‘made it a power thingy’ though?”

“I put some energy in it so it would draw more power for me. Only a little though ‘cause I was doing it mostly to make it easy to find my gamer pad without having to like… walk through the halls and stuff, I could always just go straight to it. Also it was special but… whatever, doesn’t matter now.” The last sentence was a mumble, just barely audible over the radio and sounds coming from his game.

“So… like what you did with the passports on Xen?”

“Yeah but not as much. Oh, uh…” he looked at Gordon, not something he’d done often during this conversation, “I figured out earlier that uh, I’m made from Xen energy… I think. On Xen I was like… the most powerful I’d ever been and before that, after the resonance cascade, I was pretty powerful and always more powerful in Black Mesa. Especially around where they were getting all the Xen stuff to study. But now, with all the portals shut, I’m like the same power level anywhere I go, basically. So I must be made form Xen energy or from something they found on Xen.”

“Or maybe your from Xen?” Making him an alien and thus finally a possible answer to what he was.

“Hmm… don’t know, maybe.”

“Though, uh… maybe not. We saw all sorts of Xen stuff and none of it seemed to exhibit anything like what you can do. Which doesn’t mean much because we didn’t see much of Xen.” Meaning all they’d really done was narrow it down to alien or lab grown monster made when experimenting with stuff taken from Xen.

“I now know something about where I came from though so… you should be happy with that, right? You can stop being weird about me not knowing that kinda stuff.”

Gordon hadn’t thought he’d been being weird about it, just appropriately flabbergasted and a bit saddened that Benrey knew so little about his origins. “Uh… yeah. Knowing you have a connection to Xen is certainly far better than knowing nothing.”

“Good.” Benrey returned his full attention back onto his game.

Gordon turned his gaze back onto the road. Not that there was much to look at, just more desert road stretching in front of him, the sky overhead clear and blue. Tuefort was still awhile away. “It’s not everything though. It’s still sad you don’t know. But uh… I guess since we’re on the topic of what you are, what all can you do?” He’d been wondering that for awhile, since realizing Benrey had powers. Bubby and Dr. Coomer too but it was only Benrey in the car with him right now.

“Lots of stuff.” More of that non-committal dodging the question. Surely this couldn’t be a sensitive topic though, right? He was just being difficult for the sake of it. Gordon wasn’t going to let him get away with it if he could help it.

“Some of it’s basically magic, right?” Once upon a time magic would’ve seemed the opposite of science but Gordon had been working at Black Mesa long enough to see plenty of things that could only be described as magic even before his adventure with Benrey.

“I guess.”

“Right, so, you can imbue objects with power to draw more energy for you, shape shift, heal, including growing back lost limbs and… phase through solid matter. I know I’m missing stuff so… what?”

“Yep, you’re missing stuff.”

“Like what? Tell me.”

“Why you wanna know so bad?”

“I’m curious. From a scientific standpoint you’re fascinating. So I wanna know what you can do. Like starting with your shape shifting, what are the limits of it? How big and small can you get? You said you’re less powerful now than you were on Xen so can you not get as big as you could there? Can you take other forms? Like could you turn into a… grizzly bear or some other drastically different animal if you wanted to? Can you shape shift yourself gills to breath underwater?”

Benrey groaned as he turned his head to look at Gordon again. “So many questions. You’re starting to get kinda annoying.” Seemingly it had taken a while but Gordon had finally gotten under his skin. A win for sure.

“Yeah well, after all the times you annoyed me I don’t feel too bad about that. So like… tell me more or heck, show me if you want. Probably not right now but when we’re back at the hotel show me… I don’t know, all your magic stuff. I wanna see it.” It’d be interesting and something to do.

“You wanna put me in an observation cube so you can poke and prod at me until you figure out everything I can do and how far I can push it? Gonna see how much I can endure before I die or whatever? It’s not like it matters ‘cause I come back. Want me to jump through flaming hoops and do a little dance like a circus animal too?” His tone started his usual monotone neutral but by the end, his annoyance was audible.

That should’ve been even more a win than just getting him to admit to being annoyed but… his exact words made it not exactly feel like one. His upset wasn’t with the endless annoying prodding questions but with being asked to perform ‘like a circus animal’. So Gordon had found a sore point for sure but it wasn’t much of a funny ha-ha one but instead one that made him feel kind of like a bully.

“No, no, of course not. I would never…” Gordon took his eyes off the road to look properly at him. “I wouldn’t make you do anything you didn’t want to. I was just asking you to uh… show me.” So he had been asking Benrey to perform for him. “Um… yeah, not great, sorry.”

Even just a couple days ago he never would’ve believed he’d apologize to Benrey of all people, even less would have believed he meant it. But well… being a little nosy was understandable, even being a little annoying with it was somewhat justifiable with how much of an ass Benrey could be but there was still a limit. Asking him to let Gordon openly study him was probably hitting that limit if not passing it outright.

“Sorry,” he said again. “I’ll stop prying. I guess, um, I owe you some answers to personal questions too, if you wanna ask them.”

Benrey stared at him in silence, the shadow over his eyes seemingly darker than usual. Gordon had to break eye contact before the urge to ask about it grew too strong. He probably shouldn’t have taken his eyes off the road to begin with. The last thing they needed or wanted was for him to drive them into a ditch and get stuck, stranding them in the dessert.

“All right then,” Benrey finally said just when it was starting to seem like he was done talking period. “What’s your deepest darkest secret?”

The people he’d killed while they’d been making their way through Black Mesa. Benrey already knew about that though and it wasn’t something Gordon wanted to think about. He did have other secrets though that he’d never told anyone and well, Benrey would probably get a kick out of some of them. “In elementary school, when I was like… seven or eight, the teachers would hand out scented markers for the students to use for arts and crafts. We were supposed to put them all back in the box and return them to the front at the end of class. I, uh, put a couple in my backpack instead and took them home. The red, blue, and brown ones because they smelled the best.”

A beat of silence before… “Ha! I knew you were a thief.”

“Yep, I’m, a dirty thief. That was a twenty years ago though so the statute of limitations is up, meaning I can’t be punished for it.”

“Damn. You ever steal anything else?”

Gordon took a breath to say, ‘no’ but… that would be a lie. If he couldn’t in good conscious try to get Benrey to talk any more about himself, he might as well share some of his own past instead. It was only fair after how much he’d prodded at Benrey for his, right? And none of his past crimes were anything he could get in trouble for anymore so there was no harm in sharing. Maybe it would make Benrey more comfortable sharing more about himself in the future too, since it was an exchange of information instead of Gordon just asking him stuff.

~

By the time they were rolling back into Tuefort, Benrey knew about all of Gordon’s petty crimes. A short list, even counting the stuff that had just been minor family drama like the time he’d removed the head of one of his sister’s dolls in vengeance for some slight he no longer remembered. Gordon might regret telling him one day but it lifted the mood in the car quite a bit so for now it was worth it.

While Bubby and Dr. Coomer brought their wounded cargo to the hospital, Gordon stopped by the Tuefort’s tiny mall to get Benrey a cellphone and add him to his mobile plan. The rest of the Science Team had already exchanged numbers but apparently Benrey had never even had a phone and thus, having somehow wormed his way back into the group, he needed one.

“I want that one,” he said before Gordon could even finish asking the question, pointing to one of the fancy new touch screen phones.

“That whole touch screen thing is an overpriced gimmick, so, no.” There was no way that was going to catch on, right? The phones with the keyboards that slid out of the side were the way of the future.

“But I heard they got games on them and can take pics.”

“I already basically gave you my Game Boy though so you don’t need another handheld thing for games. But uh… you like to take pictures?” Now that Gordon thought about it, he had seen Benrey with a camera a few times. It had never come up in conversation so he hadn’t thought about it much until now.

Benrey shrugged. “It’s cool. Lost my camera on Xen though when… you know, and uh… spare’s broke.”

The smart thing to do would be to just get a him a standard phone – one of the ones without a camera to make it even cheaper – and that’s it. There were a number ways he could cause problems with a camera. But if it was important enough for him to bring it up, maybe it would also help keep him entertained and thus out of trouble. “How ‘bout, I get you a cheap phone for just texting and calling, then separately a decent cheap digital camera? That work?”

“Uh… yeah, that works.”

Gordon took a breath, intending to tell him not be weird with the camera but… bit back on it. Mostly not to give him any evil ideas but also because if this friendship they were forming was going to work, he had to at least try to trust Benrey a little bit sometimes. Also he still felt bad in general for Benrey and specifically for being too nosy in the car and making up for that with a show of good will couldn’t hurt.

From there it blessedly wasn’t long before they were meeting back up as a whole group for lunch. A pizza place that Gordon had never visited before but proved to be quite good. Even Benrey ate some which continued the trend of Gordon not being sure if he actually needed to eat or not. Probably he did, right? Just not as often as humans. Maybe he was like a reptile and only needed to eat like once a week or month, or whatever. After how nosy he’d been in the car, Gordon refrained from asking for now.

Once done, they loaded up on the supplies they promised to bring back and stopped by the hotel for a quick shower, to drop their stuff off, to make sure their rooms were still secured for now, and to drop Benrey off. The best way to continue to keep him secret from the rest of the Black Mesa folk would be to not bring him back there. Leaving him alone and unsupervised for so long seemed liked an awfully bad idea but what other choice was there?

“Here’s the deal,” Gordon said once he had Benrey seated on one of the chairs and paying attention to him. “You’re gonna sit here in this room and play video games for however long I end up staying down there.” Before leaving that morning he’d also been implored to stick around after ferrying supplies back down to help with the start of salvaging whatever they could out of the facility. He’d agreed to it in part to keep himself busy a bit longer but also to ease up on all the back and forth trips. “You can go out occasionally but don’t bother anyone or cause problems. Problems by my definition, not yours. Which means anything that’s gonna harm anyone or be especially disruptive. Just stick to yourself mostly and play your games, you got plenty. If you’re bad, I’m not getting a Play Station to share with you. Understood?”

Benrey rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, understood.”

“Good. And just to reiterate and make super clear, no violence of any sort.”

“I just said I understood and you took the gun away. Can’t do violence without a gun.” A lie and he had to know it. “Why so worried?”

“I’m just… a naturally anxious person.” And even if he was maybe starting to like Benrey as a friend, that didn’t mean he trusted him to behave. He liked cats too after all but no matter how well mannered a cat was, he’d never trust it to not make a mess if left alone with a potted plant for too long. There were countless metaphorical potted plants Benrey could decide to play with and/or eat while Gordon wasn’t around to keep a close eye on him. Benrey was of course more intelligent than most cats and was thus perfectly capable of restraining himself. Being able to didn’t mean he would though, hence the worry.

“What ‘bout you? You gonna be good without me keeping an eye on you for so long? Not gonna steal anymore scented markers?”

“I highly doubt I’ll get an opportunity to but even if I do, I promise I won’t. I haven’t stolen even a cookie from a cookie jar in more than ten years so it’s really not even much of a question.”

“’Kay, but you also gonna be okay? You talked an awful lot on the drive down here, almost like someone afraid of silence. So… you gonna be okay in the silence by yourself?” Seems he was far more perceptive than Gordon had thought.

“Uh… yeah. I’m gonna ask Tommy to ride with me and even drive if he wants to. So I think I’ll be okay. I’ll text you later to see how you’re doing or whatever, I guess.” Make sure he hadn’t burned the hotel down.

“’Kay, talk to ya later.”

~

Next Chapter

[jaybleu25]

23rd of December

alright

hi

its me

jay here

so last year in 2022, i had a bit of a medical scare. it started off as a normal day; a few days before that i just got onto winter break (it was my senior year of high school at the time, just finished midterms). i was chilling in my room, minding my business, when all of a sudden i started feeling pain near my stomach. and i was like "oh, it's probably just that time of the month or something"

but then an hour passed. and another hour. and with every hour the pain just. got worse. like it just went from tolerable to feeling like i was being stabbed. it got to the point where i couldn't handle it any more, and i just laid on the floor for a while. then it got too much, and i called my parents to tell them.

after about 30 minutes, we all collectively decided it would be best to go to the hospital since the pain was really bad. i was crying at this point. mainly from the pain, but also because i was terrified since this was the first time i myself have ever had to be admitted to the hospital. so we get there, i get a quick check up at the front desk, and i'm taken to the er.

which, can i just say, was nothing like how i was imagining it. with how media portrays it and stuff, i thought it was the room where you actually got surgeries and stuff done or whatever. but no, that's a separate room. the emergency room is just a normal doctor's room but way nicer (and also has a stretcher for the patient to lay in).

it was pretty late at night at this point; no clue when it was, but i think we got there around 10 or 11 pm at night. i was there for a good few hours. they hooked me up to an iv, which i would argue was actually the most painful part of my time there (i also have a big fear of sharp things so that added onto the pain of them putting something in my arm wasn't great). but after a while it actually helped with the pain a lot. i could barely feel it after a while.

so after a good few hours, doctors or nurses (i can't recall) come in and take me to get an ultrasound done. during my stay there, i'd been kinda taking naps to help calm myself down, and also because i just didn't have my phone with me so i couldn't play games or anything to pass the time. by the time it got to midnight, my brother left the hospital since he was bored (gonna talk about that point later). but basically, there i was in a different room getting an ultrasound done, which was another thing that surprised me since i only thought ultrasounds were for people who were pregnant. the more you know i guess

after that was done, i got brought back to the room i was staying in and took another nap. woke up a little while later to hear the news,

"looks like appendicitis".

so then the doctors/nurses tell me and my family that i'll likely have to get surgery. main reason? well, as a bit of a tl;dr, if you have appendicitis and you leave it untreated, it could cause the appendix to basically explode itself, spreading harmful things into the body and eventually likely killing the person who has it.

this is when i began to worry that i might die.

but the doctors/nurses then told me that before the surgery, i could get a CAT(?) scan done to make proper sure that i actually had appendicitis. of course, me being terrified of having to get surgery done, chose the scan. so i got taken to get scanned, get brought back to my room, doctors/nurses come back in a little while later and basically confirm,

"yep, it's appendicitis".

so now there i was in the process of getting ready for surgery. my first ever surgery. i then got rolled down in my stretcher to the recovery room where i was told to "get ready", which basically consisted of me changing into a hospital gown, washing my mouth out with some weird mouth rinse (tasted gross fyi, would not recommend), and washing myself down with wipes. then after that, i went back on my stretcher. and before they took me to go to the proper surgery room, one of the nurses came up to me, and she said something that i will never forget: "Would you like to say goodbye to your parents?" um. no??????? i don't??????? like she could've worded it so much better. i know she meant "do you want to say goodbye before you go in for surgery" as in i'll probably see them again, but the way it was worded made it sound like that was the last time i'd ever see them.

that was when i fully believed that was it.

that was when i fully believed i was going to die.

it didn't help that there were a lot of stereotypes surrounding surgery in media, with it being terrifying and such and how some people wake up mid surgery and are forced to watch it happen. thinking of that, i was terrified. especially with the thought that i was probably going to die.

so i said goodbye to my parents, and i told them i loved them, and the nurses started rolling me towards the surgery room. we went down a really long hallway, and only half of the lights were working. looked like something out of a horror movie. and the entire way down the hallway, i was thinking a lot.

"i never got to say goodbye to my friends" "i never got to say goodbye to my brother" "i never got to tell them i loved them" "i'm never going to be able to go to university" "i'm never going to become a teacher" "i'm never going to meet my online best friend" "i'm never going to see my family again" "i'm going to die" "this is it" "if this is what God wanted for me, then so be it; he knows what he's doing" i was sort of trying to come to terms with the fact that i was going to die. but nobody's ever truly ready for that. but while i was still scared, i knew i'd be at peace soon.

i think the nurses could tell i was scared, because once we started getting closer to the surgery room, they started saying casual conversation.

"it's pretty snowy outside," one said.

"yeah, it was snowing on the way here" i responded.

"looks like we'll be getting snow this Christmas," the other said.

"yeah," i responded.

then we got to the outside of the room. the doors were closed, and one of the nurses pressed a big button on the wall that opened them. they rolled me into the room, and they carried me off the stretcher and onto the surgery table. they then explained to me that i'd be under anesthesia, so i wouldn't be awake for the surgery. i was nervous of what would go down, but i went along with everything.

they put the anesthesia mask over my mouth and nose.

i took a deep breath.

i blinked.

i was in the recovery room.

it was morning, Christmas Eve. the 24th of december. it was bright outside with all the snow.

i was laying in my stretcher, kind of confused on what was going on. that was it? was that my surgery? is it over with?

it was around 8 in the morning. i laid there for a good 10-20 minutes in silence, just thinking, trying to figure out what was going on.

i was alive.

after a little while, one of the nurses who were nearby noticed i was awake, and she came over to help take care of me. she brought me back my normal clothes, and i got changed, and she helped me get into a wheelchair. i could barely stand. it hurt to stand. it hurt to move.

i was half awake at the time, but i thanked her for her help, and she rolled me down to the lobby where my parents were waiting. i got helped into our car out of my wheelchair, said goodbye to the nurse, and we were on our way back home.

getting home, i got helped to the couch, where i proceeded to lay there for an entire week. i could barely move. all i could eat was yogurt for a while since i could only eat soft things. i stayed on that couch for a while, only getting up when i needed to use the bathroom (which i rarely did since it hurt to sit up and walk around). my cats often kept me company, laying on top of me on the blanket and keeping me warm.

luckily for me, since i was on winter break, i had the entire week to recover. granted, i wasn't fully recovered by the time the week was over, but by that point i could at least walk a little.

the next week, i had to go back to school. but i could barely walk still. because of that, the day i came back, me and my mom (she helped walk me there) went to the front office, and i was able to use the wheelchair they had there. so for that entire week while i was at school, i was in a wheelchair. there was nothing wrong with my legs, it was just whenever i put pressure on my stomach (whenever i sat up from laying down, standing, etc) it hurt a lot.

i still remember when i got to my first class that day. the school resource officer helped roll me there, and the moment i got into the classroom, everyone was surprised. they all looked at me.

"WHAT?!" they all exclaimed.

i couldn't help but laugh. i found it hilarious.

as of this being posted, it's officially been a year since i had to go to the hospital. my scars have (mostly) healed. it doesn't hurt anymore. i can walk around perfectly fine. i've fully recovered. well, aside from me now having to deal with the fact that i get sick more easily now that my appendix is gone. that's the only downside.

the appendix is actually more useful than you think.

[patchesproblem]

Hi.. I have come to talk about my Half-Life Einsla AU again. I went on a rant about it last night but I think that it's nonsensical enough but interesting enough to be shared here.

*Usual disclaimer for people finding this out of context: Tesla and Einstein are anime girls from HI3rd. I'm not writing fanfic / aus of real-life dead men please have mercy on me-

I've mentioned some of this before I think, but not the full scope of it.

For the most part, it follows during the same exact time as the HL 1 games, with Gordon Freeman still running around and doing his thing. The main difference is that they're in a different part of the facility than him and are actively trying to escape. They also don't have the luxury of being in HEV suits, nor do they have any knowledge of what was going on in the other areas of the facilities. Gordon plays a semi-important part in the background but it isn't until WAY later that they actually come face to face (that being before he jumps into Xen, but that's for later.)

They've worked in the facilities for a while, and they specialized in creating experimental technology essentially. Tesla occasionally helped with weapons however that wasn't her official role. They did not like their jobs in the slightest. They hated how things were run, and they felt like they were being suffocated in a way. It did not help that the pay was not worth the effort. The irony is that when the Resonance Cascade began they were actually about to leave for another base.

Now for some information that doesn't TECHNICALLY matter but it's hilarious to ME and I wanted to share.

Tesla DOES NOT like Gordon Freeman AT ALL. Einstein doesn't particularly like him, but Tesla has gone on full rants about how she doesn't even understand how he's working there. In her defense, though, she has reasons for it. She doesn't find him professional At All (which is ironic considering how she is), and doesn't understand how he's still hired. He's probably ruined her lunch before. Why? I don't know I just think it'd be funny lmao. Also they've heard the stories of him running through the vents. They don't understand what Kleiner see's in him.

She does have some respect for him, though. He is good at what he does and she'll begrudgingly admit it.

Einstein just finds him slightly annoying tbh.

They were relatively young when they started working at Blak Mesa. They met through Planck, and she helped them get their jobs. However Planck doesn't work there anymore. She's either at a different facility or retired, I'm not sure yet.

100% Would threaten the GMan and beat his ass just by pure audacity alone. They just want to go home they don't care that he's some god-like being. He will let them go home whether he likes it or not.

Now for the actually important stuff. When the Resonance Cascade first began they actually weren't supposed to be there. They had just finished packing their desks and were about to leave when it happened. Einstein was left relatively unscathed (minus some minor bruising/scratches (they would've been worse but Tesla threw herself over her to protect her)) and Tesla made it out with a few cuts/bruises and maybe fewer brain cells. However, some of the others in the room weren't so lucky.

They meet a security guard and help him gather everyone together, and the three go to the nearby guard room to try and call for help. They're unable to contact the surface, or anyone for that matter, and without warning a headcrab teleports into the room. The guard has zero clue what they are and it's at this point they realize something is seriously wrong. After talking to the other few survivors they ultimately decide that they'll be the ones to try to find help while the guard stayed behind to help the others.

Before they leave he gives them the key to one of the guard rooms where they find a map of the facility and guns/ammo. At that point, they start making their way through the facilities. However, their approach is different from Gordons'. Specifically, they avoid conflict as much as humanly possible, and they have to be extremely careful due to not having HEV suits. They do eventually have a run-in with the military however it's a one-time thing and their way of handling it is. Something to say the least.

Going through the facilities was easy at first. They were familiar with most hallways, and they really only encountered the occasional headcrab. I think it would be around this point that Einstein just picks on up and says 'We're adopting this thing' just to annoy Tesla. Yes, it ends up traveling with them on a leash. Yes, it wasn't happy about it. They bond though so it's fine.

They occasionally hear updates through the radios scattered around the base and through other scientists they find, however, it isn't until the military arrives that things get worse. They very quickly realize that the military is not on their side, and at that point on they have to start hiding and using their own skills to survive. Tesla makes hand-made grenades to deal with them in case they can't avoid them, which is effective for the most part.

Occasionally they hear things about Gordon and are amazed by the fact he's survived so long, and are amazed that he's managed to piss off the military so badly. They also learn through scientists that the Lambda team is trying to find a way to fix the disaster so they try to make their way there.

An accident occurs at some point where Einstein is in danger and nearly falls into a bunch of nuclear waste because the floor collapsed in, but Tesla managed to get her and pull her up. The headcrab somehow helps her by the sheer power of I think it'd be funny.

Once they make it up to the surface things get even more difficult. The places to hide are few and far between, and it was only by sheer luck that they managed to get far enough to get to the Lambda lab. This is where they get a glance of Gordon Freeman, but they don't even try to get to him. They figure he'll be fine and go on with their days trying to avoid the alien and military combat.

They end up making it there and they help the other scientists try to get it under control, and eventually Gordon arrives. They help get the portal open and just pray for the best.

I also had ideas for HL2, but I haven't fully finished watching a play through on it so I can't say anything for sure.

TLDR; All of this is stupid and is essentially me giving two insane scientists a gun and sending them on their merry way. They adopt a pet that could kill them and bicker like an old married couple, you know the usual.

[thealolanchamp]

¡Introduction post!

Alola! First post here! In case you do not know me, I am Apoālewa, Champion of Alola! If my name is too difficult to pronounce that's ok, You can call me Dugga!

Here are my current pokemon with some info!

Evo the Sylveon, he's my service pokemon that helps me keep in check and ensure I'm under control of myself, he's an absolute sweetheart! He was a gift from my older half sister when I first met her(she had to adopt me after some unfortunate things that happened to me, I do not wish to say what exactly)

Mr.Squirt("lil Mister") the Primarina, my Ace in battle, he's been with me since I started my Island trials, as you can tell I was not the best at names when I was younger. He's quite a calm, gentle pokemon who enjoys his naps. He's also quite the Peirs enjoyer, you should see him make his way into whatever room has that guy's music playing!

Midnight the Lycanroc, you can guess by the name what variant of lycanroc she is lol, she's the playfully rough kind of pokemon, always nibbling on me or my clothes, rubbing her rocky parts on stuff(lost so much furniture to her). She's also what i like to call a "screamer", basically she doesn't bark, woof, ruff none of that, but SCREAMS like a bolthound that found something(usually at the late hours of the night too)

Jell-o the (shiny) Goodra, my only shiny pokemon, I found him as a goomy during a pause of rain near Po town I think, poor thing was dry from the sun:(, i got him near a shaded puddle and began to leave, but he refused to leave my side hehe, he's also caused a lot of furniture problems, he's joyfully lazy and he won't leave my chairs alone(goodra slime is hard to get out of fabric, worse is that stuff bleaches)

E ("Esper") the Espeon, a absolutely amazing if not shy companion, I got her after seeing an ad from a shelter about an eevee(her) that was used for shiny breeding and needed a home. I feel so happy that she felt safe enough around me to evolve into such a friendship related evolution. She surprisingly great in battle, the pokemon center said if mist be therapeutic for her(i make sure shes ok before and after every battle don't worry)

Mocha the (alolan) Raichu, probably my most food motivated pokemon😅, you shake a bag of food and he comes zooming, also no one told me the move Electric Terrain made them surf faster! He had to go to the pokemon center because he zoomed indoor and hit a wall🤦‍♂️(he's ok btw, happened several months ago)

Aohd(pronounced "ay") the Volcanrona, had no clue that Volcanronas are rare in Alola until guzma lost his shit at the sight of her as a Larvesta, she tends to lounge about ouside when not battling, soaking up the sun. Also I recommend to anyone thinking of having a Volcanrona to have a large backyard with easy access to sunlight and plenty vegetation, I've learned it's vital for their diets(just a tip)

Chase the Gardevoir, not my pokemon but my sister's, she(chase) is essentially a caregiver since Kahu(my sister) left for Paldea some time ago for education purposes, she helps me with chores and errands, she also speaks via ASL(Alolan Sign Language), I pretty much look up to her as a mother figure. Not sure where exactly she came from as Kahu found her as a Ralts on Poni island and apparently the Ralts line don't reside in Alola.

Rotom-Dex the Rotom, can't forget one of the most helpful pokemon I have! They were quite chatty too after they learned they can talk with the pokedex they possess, they're quite well trained for their job too! Always giving me needed tidbits about for forgettable pokemon so i won't falter in battle! Even though they don't battle themselves, they're quite vital to my job as champion!

¡Update!

So it seems I have been transported to the past via otherworldly means and now I have to make a new team for myself to ensure saftey, i currently have-

Mr.Squirt("lil Mister), he was one of the only two pokemon that came with me unfortunately, he's still the same ol' Primarina

"Arc-Dex"(RotomDex), Rotom, they started calling themselves that after I woke up in hisui, they resemble Akari's "ArcPhone", some modified phone. They still do not battle.

Ghostface the Cyndaquil, the professor here, Laventon gave her to me to ensure I learn of the "Hisuian" veriants of pokemon here, apparently she'll become a ghost type but i remember them being pure fire type, this may be interesting.

Anyways welcome to my blog, hope this wasn't too long! Don't be scared to ask questions!

[applesforthis]

I do feel it was a fair-play mystery, but only just. Behind the cut is the one clue I spotted, along with some hints. (I didn’t solve it before the reveal, so all of this is stuff I only figured out on rewatch.) Also apparently I wanted to talk about the killer's reasons for outing themself.

In episodes 1-3, it was definitely meant to be a secret that Sam was their main suspect.* You can tell that it was a secret because around the beginning of S1E3 we see Eddie and Dulcie at the station, grilling all the other cops and demanding to know who among them leaked this info. For me this was the biggest clue that Ray was the killer: Ray was the only civilian* who knew that Sam was their main suspect, and and immediately after Ray learns this, Sam’s boat is set on fire, and Sam’s body is left out in plain sight.

*EDITED TO ADD: just kidding! @dodger-chan has pointed out that Ray wasn't the only civilian who knew. In fact, on reflection, Eddie also shared the Sam-is-the-killer theory with both Vic and Skye on the night of Skye's restaurant launch. I still think it's a clue that Sam's boat is burned and his body is left out in plain sight immediately after Ray learns Sam is the prime suspect, but @dodger-chan is correct that this wasn't a strict secret, more controlled information. In light of this, I think I actually agree with @dodger-chan that Deadloch only barely qualifies as a fair-play mystery, because this makes it more plausible that someone else could have learned that Sam was their prime suspect. Good call.

The other hints that I noticed are far subtler:

I do think the swimming thing is a hint. For one thing, it's true that not all people who sail can swim. But most can, and I think this was Ray's way of deflecting suspicion -- of making himself seem less like the sort of person who would own a boat (the kill room).

Also, if you watch Ray during the scene when he tells Eddie that Lou is dead, his crying is fake. Eddie’s too distraught about Bushy to notice, but it’s very obvious if you look. And when Eddie walks away to go and get in the passenger side of the truck, Ray’s face instantly changes, because he was never upset.

Also, serial killers (most famously Ted Bundy) sometimes fake an injury or other signs of weakness in order to make themselves seem nonthreatening to their victims and to onlookers. Ray does this in a general way, both with the swimming thing and in other scenes via body language. In E4 while he’s helping to carry the paella he makes a little “ouch” noise and grabs his back as if it hurt him to lift something heavy. And when Eddie's interviewing him after Jimmy’s body is found, Ray has let them give him oxygen, and has a very smol-and-weak way of huddling under his mylar blanket. (Weirdly, this pretending-to-be-smol-and-weak thing was the one thing that jumped out at me on my first watch, I think because of Eddie's "you're a meaty, meaty lad" line. He is! Ray's a meaty, sturdy person, and that line made me start to notice that he was pretending not to be.)

I do agree that there are some loose ends that just never got wrapped up, like where Ray was storing the bobbing bodies and how he got William’s car. I’m curious about these questions but it feels realistic to me that not everything gets explained.

These aren’t clues but I have thoughts about Ray and his motivations:

1. Ray reveals he is (or was once) religious during his monologue in the barn. Speaking to Skye of their early friendship in Sydney, he says, “You could see I was struggling with my faith, and with my purpose.” 

2. I agree with you that after he met Eddie, Ray was probably mostly leaving clues as a way of showing off to Eddie and keeping Eddie around...but I do think that Ray was toying with Dulcie as well. For a start, Eddie wasn't in Deadloch when Ray very deliberately left Trent's body on the beach. And when he left Gavin's body out, he and Eddie hadn't met yet -- or even seen each other, as far as we see in canon. So I think that at minimum he left those two clues out in plain sight for other reasons, and not because he was interested in Eddie.

I think it was because of Dulcie. Here's why I say so:

Later on in canon (S1E8) we learn that back in Sydney Dulcie was assigned to work a serial killer case that was never solved...because Ray was the killer then, too, and he left town. It's interesting that Ray was friends with Skye, in Sydney, and I have to wonder if maybe he befriended Skye as a way of getting close to Skye's friend Dulcie, the detective who was hunting him. It's not clear if Ray moved to Deadloch before Dulcie or afterward EDITED: Just kidding, Ray moved to Deadloch before Dulcie did -- we know this because he killed Sam before Dulcie arrived. Thanks again for the sharp eye, @dodger-chan. :-) What a hilarious surprise that must have been for Ray, when Dulcie followed him there but still had no idea he was the killer she'd been hunting back in Sydney.

So for the past five years, Ray has been living cheek-by-jowl with the detective who failed to catch him in Sydney. I imagine it would have been something to savor, for him: to know that this woman who had spent so much time and energy hunting him had no idea that he was at it again, right under her nose. And I think he left the first two bodies out because he wanted her to notice at least those two murders, to notice and to start to suspect a connection between them. He wanted her to worry, he wanted to be on her mind, even though she wouldn't know he was the same person she'd been chasing in Sydney. And eventually, he wanted her to know that as well, because it was too tempting not to show off -- hence his using the name of a Sydney victim to book the Airtaskers: he wanted Dulcie specifically to realize that it was him, her old enemy, that she'd been letting him get away with it again. That stabbing was deeply personal, he meant to kill her and honestly I'm surprised she survived. I think Ray was much more interested in Dulcie than he let on, as an enemy, as someone to defeat and dominate.

So, I spent the last week rewatching* Deadloch to determine if it really is a fair play mystery, and my answer is: yes, kinda. Yes, in that you do get all the information the detectives do before the reveal (though sometimes the information will be withheld for a scene or two for dramatic effect). Kinda because the clues given in the first seven episodes** are not enough to point the finger at the murderer without looking at the show as a piece of art, and considering what its themes are and which of the viable suspects would best reflect those themes. Specific spoilers under the cut. Do not read until after you have watched Deadloch, which you should do as it is amazing.

*reading the subtitle files and watching a few key scenes

** I'm not including the 8th episode, where the killer is revealed, because by that point you're not getting clues, you're getting answers.

Every clue I noticed that implicates Ray, with commentary

(episode one) Cath mentions going to treat Ray's pet: Not super useful, as we see Ray with Lou later, and learn that Lou is old and likely to need medical treatment. It doesn't mention the pentobarbital, though presumably Lou is Ray's excuse for getting it from Cath. It also gets his name in the show right away.

(episode two) When Ray takes Eddie to the shack, he mentions Skye O'Dwyer is his best friend. We also know he works for her mom at the bakery, and seems to care for the whole family. So when we start considering who would kill Sam O'Dwyer, he's definitely close enough to the family to be a suspect.

(same scene) We learn Ray isn't from Deadloch, but has been living there for some time. But the line is vague on when specifically he moved. It would have been helpful to know he moved before Sam was killed.

(same scene) Eddie lets Ray know she's leaving as soon as they find Sam and his boat, where she thinks (correctly) the murders happened. It's not a secret, but he's the only non-police character we're shown specifically being told this information.

(episode two) Ray doesn't have any lines after he leaves Eddie at the shack, so I watched the end of the episode and he doesn't rejoin the other main characters at the Bush Wolf. Not suspicious in and of itself, but if you go back and look for alibis, it's clear he doesn't have one for planting Sam's body/setting the boat on fire

(episode three) Sam's body is planted immediately after Eddie keys in on him as a suspect. Amusingly, this seems to be less about Ray wanting to show he's smarter than to cops and more about making sure Eddie stays in town.

(episode three) Eddie again tells Ray she's leaving as soon as they have the DNA match, then leaves him after taking a swab. The next guy in line goes to Ray to get swabbed for the test. This implies it's possible he didn't submit his sample and that's why the blood on the boat didn't match him. It's also possible that the blood was from a previously undiscovered victim. I don't think we ever find out which was the case. My assumption is the latter, because why would he hand over a DNA sample if it might implicate him?

(episode four) Kind of an anti-clue: Ray at the beginner swimmer class. An experienced sailor isn't necessarily a good swimmer, and he used a boat for the first five (discovered) victims. Of course, this turns out to be a lie and Ray's actually an accomplished swimmer, but it doesn't make sense that he'd be pretending to need lessons.

(episode five) Ray is one of the first people to find Jimmy's body and reports it, fits with killer wanting to see other people reacting to his art.

(episode five) Another anti-clue: Ray vomits when he sees the body, and again while telling Eddie about it. The character might have been able to fake it that first time (he was preparing food, he could have snuck a slurry into his mouth like the actor actually did) but I think the character had to be genuinely vomiting the second time.

(episode five) Even with my glasses on I couldn't read the list of names the priest faxed over while it was on the tv. Taking a screenshot and zooming in gave me a better look, but while one of the names looked like it might have been Ray McLintock, it wasn't clear. Given that Eddie didn't know his name (he told her when she took his DNA, but it didn't stick) I think it would have been fine for us to see his name on the list, but not have it ping with her. (Spouse and I were calling him "Ray Pies" when we talked over the episodes, so I doubt the name would have pinged for me, but it would have been nice to have confirmation he knew about the religious stuff).

(episode six) “I’ve made some mistakes with women, and I’ve had some pretty weird interests” okay, it's not much of a clue by itself, but in retrospect, yeah, I think he has.

(episode seven) The six extra bodies surface and it turns out they were frozen and had defrosted over the last forty-eight hours. This means the killer started to defrost them around the time of the DNA testing. Also when Eddie told Ray she'd be leaving soon.

(episode seven) Eddie admits to actually liking Ray. She's a mess with shitty taste, there had to be something wrong about him.

That's pretty much it for clues within the show. It's not a lot, and I'd argue it's not enough to consider the mystery solvable. It's fine when clues don't seem to be relevant before you know who done it, but I think they need to be a little more conclusive when you look back over them. In the first seven episodes we don't know that Ray has access to pentobarbitol, or that his pet is still alive, or about Sam not being his first kill. At no point do we find out where he was storing those frozen corpses for years (sure, Skye has a cool room for her restaurant, but she would be using it) or how he got his hands on William Carruther's old car. And we don't know he moved to Deadloch before the murders began until we find out he was committing them.

Still, if you start with the theme of reinvention, and you eliminate suspects based on definitive alibis and not psychological profiles, Ray is one of the better suspects left, especially if, like me, you'd been assuming Margaret killed her brother from the moment we heard he'd left the country. Ray being the killer wasn't a shock, but I didn't know ahead of the scene in episode eight where Eddie finds Lou, even if I joked about Ray being the killer because Eddie liked him. So in conclusion: fair play, kinda.

[moscnios]

Hi. I hope your having a god day and i also hope you’re still taking requests. Can the story take place in modern Au and take place the night after reader and Sabo were having sex. Sabo smacks her ass and she comes to it. But she so used to vanilla stuff that she’s embarrassed and tries to avoid Sabo the next day. But it end up with him confronting her and going absolutely feral on her because he wanted to all this stuff ever since they been together

FLUSTERED+ / ☻

☻  /  pairing . . .  f!reader x sabo.

☻  /  type of love . . .  romantic.  physical.

☻  /  content warnings . . .  nsfw. she/her pronouns used. afab!reader. ( “cunt” used to describe gentials among others ) mean dom sabo. unprotected sex. rough sex. vaginal penetration. dirty talk. degradation. ass slapping. etc. modern au. not proofread. minors DNI.

☻  /  commentary . . .  posting a smut at 5am on a monday morning ?? king shit. this is probably the kinkiest thing i’ve written so far ?? have no clue what came over me. i’m not even a sabo fucker...but...i hope i made sabo feral enough for you. thank you for requesting !! 

“Care to explain why you’ve been avoiding me all day?” The blond questioned, leaning against the door frame. Stripped down from his usual attire, Sabo was still in his light blue trousers and long-sleeved dark blue dress shirt rolled up to his elbows. The top few buttons of his shirt were left undone, exposing his collar bone and his upper chest.

The look on his face was a mixture of emotions. Though the one that stood out to her the most was the look of disappointment.

He was disappointed in her.

She could feel it.

( y/n ) was sitting on the edge of the bed, avoiding his gaze as she had been since last night. She knew it was only a matter of time before he was going to confront her. She knew it would come soon after what had happened this morning.

She had woken up earlier than he did. It was not an uncommon occurrence, but she would wait in bed for him to wake up. By the time Sabo had finally woken up, she was already up and moving, doing her morning routines which they usually did together.

Upon him getting out of bed, she was practically ready for the day. He had tried to wrap her body in a warm embrace and press a loving kiss to her lips.

She had dodged, turning her head to the side leaving his lips to land on her cheek. He immediately knew something was wrong. But before he could even ask, she unraveled his arm, gave him a rushed goodbye, and headed out of the front door.

It stuck with him all day. He questioned himself, thinking of anything that he could have done wrong.

She didn’t even send him update texts throughout the day like she did most days. She didn’t call him during her break. It was radio silent. It was so unlike her.

( y/n ) continued to avoid him even when she got home. Watching her walk through the front door, barely greet him, and just run off to their shared bedroom, he had enough.

Now here he stood at the door frame with his face full of emotions. Disappointment. Confusion. Sadness.

“( y/n ), please...please just say something to me. Don’t...leave me in the dark.”

She found the courage to look up from the floor, though her line of vision had focused on his legs. She wasn’t ready to meet his eyes yet. She was still suffering from the feeling of embarrassment. After what felt like a long silence, she found the words to speak. No matter how embarrassing, she had to say them. She needed to let him know how she felt.

“I’m embarrassed,” She admitted.

“Embarrassed?” He could not help himself. He left his post at the door frame, walking over to her. He held her face in his hands as if she was a delicate piece of art, forcing her ( e/c ) eyes to look into his own, “What is there to be embarrassed about, my love?”

“Last night.”

The events of last night played through his mind.

Sex.

Images of her naked body below him and her pleasured face filled his mind. Her beautiful, lewd noises still rang in his ear. Was that what she was embarrassed about? Seeing that he wasn’t quite following, she continued, “You...god this is even more embarrassing...”

“( y/n ), just tell me. Did I make you uncomfortable?”

“It’s not that. It was something you did...” She trailed off, not wanting to say it. 

“Did I do something you didn’t like? I’m really sorry if I―”

“No, I did like it. In fact, I really...really liked it. That’s why this is so embarrassing. Especially because you did it out of nowhere,” She confessed, feeling a weight being lifted off of her shoulders.

Sabo replayed their night together, trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together him. When he finally remembered.

He was fucking her from behind, pounding into her pretty ass at a rough pace. He could hardly control himself. It had been way too long since the last time they fucked.

Someone was always busy or just not feeling it. Oh but now, they both had the time now. By the lustful look in his eye when he climbed on top of her, ( y/n ) already knew she was in for it.

Pounding into her pretty ass at a rough pace, the tip of his cock kissing her cervix. Filthy words of just how good she was to him, how amazing her pussy felt around him, how awfully cute her moans of his name and mewls, and how close he knew she was, falling from his mouth.

She had reached back, to place on his hip in order to try to get him to slow down. But of course, he didn’t listen. Rather he pushed her hand away, before landing a hard smack on her ass.

It happened so fast. Releasing the band that had built in her lower stomach, clenching around him as her orgasm ripped through her body like a hurricane. She had fallen face first into the pillows of their shared bed, no longer being able to hold herself up. Though she was also glad the pillows hid the embarrassedly fucked out expression on her face.

“So you’re embarrassed because you liked that I smacked your ass?” He questioned, letting go of her face, and taking his place next to her on the edge of their bed.

“You know, you aren’t making it any better by saying it like that. I only feel more embarrassed...” She had trailed off, noticing the blond’s hand rest on her bare thigh. Sabo rubbed soothing circles into the skin of her thigh, “Don’t be embarrassed. Hell, if you like it, then you like it.” He had leaned closer until she could feel his lips graze the shell of her ear, “I liked it too. It was so sexy. Why don’t we explore it more, angel?”

His voice sent chills down her spine. She couldn’t hide the smile forming on her face, “Just how long have you been waiting for me to say yes to impact play?”

“You have no idea...”

“Well, why don’t you give me an idea?”

Sabo had rid her of her pants and panties, leaving no time to waste. She was now laid out over the blond’s lap. He had removed his gloves, throwing them off to the side to worry about later. Oh, but he wanted to take his time appreciating her perfect ass, alternating between gently rubbing and roughly grasping.

“Such a perfect ass,” He whispered under his breath, planting the first surprising smack. She jolted slightly underneath his touch, and a soft moan followed suit. The next smack came down rougher than the first, making a much louder sound. “All mine,” The blond claimed, rubbing the spot he had hit before turning his attention to her already dripping wet cunt.

He slid his fingers in her arousal, “Look how much fun you’re having.” The next rain of smacks came harder and faster, one right after another, with no wiggle room in between. With every smack, she had come louder, her moans turning into full-on yells. She had gone to cover her mouth, feeling embarrassed about just how loud she was. But he didn’t take too kindly to that, another few smacks came raining down onto her ass, “Remove the hand. Now.” His voice was low and unforgiving.

Without a second thought, she did as he said, placing her arm at her side, trying to keep herself from disobeying again.

He pulled apart her cheeks to get a better look at her cunt. The word ‘fuck’ involuntarily left his mouth. Sabo leaned forward a bit, spitting onto her pussy and rubbing it down her already slick folds. It was more of a territorial thing, a way to say her pussy belonged to him.

He plunged two of his slender fingers into her core, scissoring her folds at a fast pace. With his other hand, he continued to smack her ass, as his name left her mouth like a prayer between her pretty moans and deep breaths. Between her mouth and the lewd sounds from her cunt, Sabo was throbbing in his trousers.

She arched her back, lifting her ass further into the air, as she could feel the lower pit of her stomach begin to burn so well. She let out a shaky cry as she reached her first orgasm of the night, falling face first into the bed. He continued fingering her riding out her orgasm, only giving her a second or so to breathe before he decided she was ready again.

As if she was a doll, he tossed her from his lap further onto their bed before he stood up. He removed his shirt and pants, revealing he wasn’t wearing any underwear.

“But I’m the slut?” ( y/n ) teased.

“Yeah, we’re both sluts. But you’re MY slut, that’s the different, angel.”

He climbed onto the bed, kneeling in front of her, positioning her body in the way he wanted her. She was laying on her side, knees brought up slightly, exposing her already-bruising ass to her.

Sabo scooted closer, guiding his throbbing cock into her dripping core. A deep satisfied sigh fell from his lips as he bottomed out. A low moan erupted from her, raising in octaves as Sabo, desperate to fuck her, began a rough pace into her. Pulling nearly all the way out, just to slam his hips back into her ass resting his hands on her hips to use as leverage. She let out a string of ‘ah-fuck’s between desperate, slutty moans.

He stopped his thrusts, pulling out of her. Before she could even whimper at the sudden loss of contact, he was flipping her onto her stomach, bringing her ass up to meet his hips. He slid into her cunt once again, “That’s better.”

His thrusts were ruthless, punishing. But his smacks to her ass were even more so. “That’s my angel. You’re taking it so well. You love my cock inside of you, don’t you?”

“YES! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!” Her answer was as desperate as her need to cum. She was getting closer and closer by the thrust. “Need…need to cum!”

“Cum all you want. But I’m not finished using your pussy yet.”

Why did his lewd words always turn her on so much? With one more smack to her ass, she came for the second time tonight. His thrusts did not slow down one bit. She whimpered from overstimulation, reaching back to push on his chest. He pushed her head down roughly onto the sheets, before gripping her wrist and holding it on the small of her back.

“Sabo…ah…please slow…ahh…”

“Take it like I know you can.”

Her nails dig into the sheets, mewls, drool and garbled nonsense fell from her mouth as she was being fucked stupid. Tears began to prick the corners of her eyes. A third orgasm had showered down on her, her legs starting to twitch. Sabo had pulled out in the nick of time, painting her bruising ass the shade of him.

Beyond exhausted, ( y/n ) had collapsed fully now, laying on her stomach. He laid next to her on his side.

“I got a little…carried away, huh?”

“Just a little?” She repeated, raising an eyebrow. Sabo had laughed, “Okay, okay maybe more than just a little. You okay?” He brought his hand up to her back, rubbing soothing, soft circles.

She grinned tiredly, “Never better. I should have known you were a freak.”

“How come?!”

“Your gloves give it away. What normal, non-kinky person just wears gloves every day?”

© MANGEKYUOU. /  ☻

[noisynaia]

Distant Suns - Chapter 2

Among the Stars: Distant Suns

Chapter title: The Market

summary: You have lived on Tatooine your entire life, never even been off-planet. Your path crosses a mysterious Mandalorian and his even more mysterious child. You end up having to leave your home after getting caught up with the mysterious duo by mistake.

word count: 2.7k 

rating: E

pairing: Din Djarin x afab!reader 

note: This has not been beta read. No use of (y/n). The reader goes by she/her pronouns. This is a slow burn y'all, but it will eventually become smutty™️. Hope you enjoy :)

crossposted on my ao3

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The suns have fully set by the time the child had finished the breakfast the sweet Nautolan had served, including a very generous portion of bantha milk pudding for dessert. Din had had to feed it to the little one to make sure he wouldn’t eat it so fast that he would make himself sick. 

It had made Din think back to the night before when the kid and you had dinner together and how he had been surprised with warm soup outside his door. 

You had tried to get away fast, but not fast enough for a Mandalorian bounty hunter to not get a glimpse of you when you went down the stairs. You had cooked a warm meal for him. You had been very upset when you had learned about his eating habits during dinner with the kid, but the thought of you spending time cooking him a meal, him a complete stranger, made him feel something in his chest he couldn’t quite identify. He had not even asked for your name, he would have done so and thanked you for the soup when he got the chance, but it had been the Nautolan that had greeted him from behind the counter this morning. 

Din had just had his usual nutrition pack, same as always, but he can’t remember the last time he had slept so well. His bunk in the crest is fine . Din has never been picky when it comes to stuff like that, he has slept sitting straight up for many a night through his years, but his back has been starting to act up more and more with age. 

The child sticks his little fussy head up from his canvas bag, Din had decided to let the kid's pod stay back at the inn. He usually doesn’t leave things behind, a  bounty hunter is always ready to flee a scene, not smart to have all one's belongings laying back somewhere. The kid had seemed to prefer the bag today and Din had, for some reason, just let the kid make the decision. 

Din had gone to Peli’s hangar as the first thing. She had told him that she had gotten a lot done on the ship yesterday, so the crest might already be flight-ready this evening. She had, of course, also continued, in the typical mechanic way, to point out other stuff that was wrong with the ship, talking about how he should get the left turbine replaced, even though that hadn’t been impacted by any asteroids. He should maybe just let her, he could stay on the planet for another night, letting Peli do her thing and hopefully not having to need a mechanic for a long time.             

Din is unsure of what to do now, he is on Tatooine, so he should probably continue to look for something that could lead to a clue about this Skywalker . But yesterday wasn’t successful and nothing suggests that he can find any new leads on the planet about the Jedi.  

Din makes a decision and heads to the market instead, a ration run is long overdue. The kid is calm, the big meal had made him drowsy, lying quietly in the bag clutching his beloved metal ball. 

Din has almost found all of the things he needs. The kid is still lying still in the bag, always tired after big meals, but it can’t take long before his nap is over. He is sending a mental thank you to the sweet innkeeper for sending the little one into a food coma, making the trip to the market easier for Din. It is also making him feel less worried when the kid is asleep like this, making it less likely that someone who shouldn’t notice the kid would do so. A Mandalorian in full beskar is usually enough of a head-turner.  

Din is currently getting soap at a booth. He had found out that the normal sandalwood one he uses is too harsh on the kid's delicate skin. What type of soap he bought was not something Din had ever thought much about before, but the child had changed a lot about Din. It is while he is paying for the soaps that he sees you. A little further down, the crowded market. You’re filling a basket with fruits, happily chattering with the owner of the booth. He noticed how the sunshine reflects on your hair. It's pretty. 

A small patu escapes from the bag, the kid must have woken up. Din pays for the soaps and packs them away. The kid sticks his little head out just enough to see out on the crowd. 

His big dark eyes land on you, and since you had been the one serving him dinner last night and currently are the proprietor of a big basket full of fruit he is reaching his little hands out from the bag and towards you. 

Din sighs, it would probably create less attention to approach you than having the kid throw a tantrum. It was clear to Din that the kid had been very interested in you as you ate with him last night, food was usually an easy way to win the kid over, but there was something more to it. Din couldn’t deny that something about you is captivated, almost alluring .

It looks like you are getting ready to leave the fruit both, you pay for your groceries and turn around, directly towards Din and the child. Your face lights up with recognition as your eyes land on the helmet of his beskar.

“Hi!” Your voice is so sweet, Din is not used to people being sweet to him, maybe besides the child. People can be friendly, but sweet is different.

“Hi.” Din replies with a slight nod of his helmet. 

“I hope you slept well.” Your eyes are on his visor as you continue in your warm tone.

Din just nods, suddenly feeling very exposed in the middle of the crowded market, a short silence follows. You’re still smiling, but less brightly, your eyes flicker away from the T of his helmet, maybe from the lack of a verbal answer. Din opens his mouth to say something, what, he doesn't know, but before he can say something stupid the kid comes to his rescue. The little green head pops out of the bag quietly babbling as he holds his little arms out towards you. The warm smile is back on your face and even stronger than before. 

“Hello, kiddo.” You coo at him, putting your basket down before kneeling down to be at eye level with the youngling.             

“You know what, I have on good authority that Groob is gonna make deep-fried gorg for dinner with pika cake for dessert.” You whisper the last part conspiratorial to the kid as you clap the basket full of fruit. “I think I might have gotten a little overboard thought, you wouldn’t help me out on that would you?” You ask the child before looking up at Din for permission. Din nods again, wanting to say something , but he still doesn’t know what .

You grab one of the blue fruit and begin to remove the peel, the child looks captivated as the 

ripe fruit pulp appears. You hand him small pieces at a time until he has eaten the whole fruit. You laugh at the little kid as blue fruit juice is dripping from his mouth. Din can’t help but smile under his helmet, he really likes the sound of your laughter, he distracts himself by gripping the corner of his cloak to wipe the child’s face with.  

“Oh, you’re a spoiled one, huh?” You laugh out. 

Din collects his bravado. “He is easier to deal with when he is happy, so he usually gets what he wants.” Din sighs dramatically but caresses the child's ear soft and lovingly at the same time, contradicting that he actually has anything against spoiling him.

And your eyes are back on Din again. “Well, I don’t blame you, I don’t think I could deny him a thing.” Something weird sturs inside Din’s chest by the sight. You crouched in front of the kid, already peeling a new fruit for him, with your pretty eyes looking right up at Din, a soft smile on your lip. 

“Yeah, he is a cute one.” Din agrees. 

You smile a little brighter at him again before putting your focus back on the child who is happily munching on the fruit you are offering him. He finishes the second fruit and Din gets ready to wipe the juice from his face again, but before he can get to it the kid has disappeared down the bag. It only takes a second for the little one to appear again, he proudly holds out a small shiny steel nut, in his right hand, which he must have lured from Peli when they were at her place this morning. In the other hand, he holds the small silver orb, his most prized possession, close to his body as if to make sure you don’t mistake it for the gift in his other hand as he holds the nut out towards you, tilting his little green head.

“ For me? ” You whisper. 

He makes one of his little babbling noises. You hold out your hand for him so that the child can decide for himself whether he wants to part with the small piece of metal or not. He lets it fall into your palm and makes another small sound, first looking up at Din with his big gentle eyes and then back at you. 

“ Thank you .” Your voice is so soft and gentle, Din thinks that he can hear the smile that is on your lips as you speak to the child. Something about the way you talk to the kid is so congenial to Din’s ears, he tries not to dwell on it, not letting the feeling linger. You are a random bypasser in his life, one who will be gone by morning as he takes off in his ship. It doesn’t matter how kindly you speak to the child, or how pretty your smile is when your eyes meet the black visor of his helmet like you know exactly where his eyes are hiding.   

Both you and Din are silent for a moment, both of you surprised by the kid's gift.

The child is clearly the one less affected by his own action, he is back to focusing on his metal ball, quietly babbling to it as if he is telling an unintelligible fairytale and the ball can understand him. 

You stand up slowly, the basket handle secure in the crook of your elbow, your hand tight around the metal nut.   

Din decides to break the silence. “Thank you for the soup last night, it was very kind of you.” 

You just shake your head, smiling sweetly, like it was nothing. 

“I never got your name.” The modulator of his helmet conceals the nerves in his voice. Din is a Mandalorian, a worrier and he is confident in many things, thanking a pretty woman for cooking him a warm meal is not one of them and asking the same woman for her name isn’t either. 

You tell him, your voice sounding a little different, still sweet and warm but a hint of something else as well… Shyness? 

He wants to tell you that it is a pretty name because it is very pretty and it suits you very well he thinks. He doesn't tell you, instead, he tries the name out, repeating it for you. 

“Well, it was very nice of you, I really appreciated it.” Another stretch of silence. Din decides to free you from the interaction. He opens his mouth to bid you farewell, but instead.

“Maybe, you’ll have dinner with the kid again tonight?” 

Why did he say that?! He had honestly thought you would decline when he had asked you last night, but the interest you had shown for the kid had made him hope that you might want to eat with his foundling. He is no expert on kids, but children need socialising, right? Din can’t help but feel bad sometimes, the child usually seems pretty content, but he can’t help but worry that he does things wrong . He cares for the child and he wants him the best, but Din doesn’t always know what the bes t is. Maybe that’s why he asked you, but a feeling deep inside of him tells him that it is not just for the kid he is asking, he would be there as well even though he can’t eat anything. 

You give him that bright smile of yours. “I would love to, he is great company.” You giggle and, dank farrik , it is the loveliest sound he has heard in a long time, besides the sounds the child makes when he is happy. Din can not dwell on that, he would leave the planet in the morning. 

“See you tonight then.” He breaths out, turning around for a quick exit, but you stop him with a hand on his beskar-clad arm

“Wait.” You murmur, again sounding almost shy?

You pull out a clean, neatly folded, handkerchief from one of the pockets of your tunic, it has your name embroidered in the corner, Din finds that detail very endearing. You grab a couple of fruits from your basket.  Packing the fruits in the linen, tying a little knot resembling a bow, presenting the delicate bundle to Din, holding it out for him to take. 

“For you, for later.” You explain. 

Din wants to decline, already feeling bad that you had spared two of the fruits on the kid, but for some reason, he can’t make himself do so. Din reaches out for your gift instead, feeling warm as your fingers briefly brush over his gloved ones as he accepts the little package.  

“ Thank you .” Is all he can think of saying. 

You just shake your head like it is nothing. “See you tonight Mando, and you too, kiddo.” You smile down at the bag where the child's left ear is sticking out. 

“ Yeah, see you.” Mando replies and with a little wave of your hand and another sweet smile you turn around and disappear into the crowd.          

___ 

You are on your way home, it is later than you had anticipated, you had finished your last errand over an hour ago, but you had met one of Yina’s old friends and had fallen into a long conversation. You had unconsciously been caressing the little metal nut you had been gifted from the cute little kid through the entire tête-à-tête. 

You couldn’t help but smile when you thought about the sweet expression on his little button face when he had given it to you. 

You are very intrigued by the little kid and his stoic Mandalorian, they are an odd pair, yet they feel so right together. Both clearly care a lot about the other, they remind you of yourself and Yina in that way. A Mandalorian warrior and his foundling, it is like something out of the stories Yina would tell you when you were a child. You smile at the thought, that was many moons ago. 

Mando had not been especially chatty last night, but the conversation you got out of him was pleasant, but you had not learned a whole lot about him.   

You are lost deep in these thoughts when you suddenly are grabbed from behind by a strong pair of arms and dragged down a dark alley. You drop your basket, fruits and other products rolling at your feet. A gloved hand is covering your mouth, you try to scream but the sound is muffled against the leather of the glove. Your mouth is covered but your nose is free making you able to breathe freely. You feel cool metal being pressed against your back 

“I’m sorry. I am not gonna hurt you, but I need you to be quiet.” 

The voice is nothing but a whisper, but you recognise it immediately, the low, modulated sound, it’s Mando.  

[slasherhaven]

Bo and Vincent reacting to Lester's secret, out- of-town partner? I feel like a oneshot would fit the moment of them finding out better but headcanons could give more overall so I'll leave it up to you <3

Did some general headcanons followed by a bit of a oneshot of them finding out! Hope this is okay!

Bo and Vincent finding out that Lester Sinclair has a secret, out-of-town, S/O:

Lester had met you during one of his supply trips into town. Usually Bo would do those trips but Lester would handle it from time to time.

The two of you had just hit it off, you had been friendly and you had laughed at his stupid jokes.

Luckily for Lester, you had been fairly outgoing and had admitted to wanting to see him again or wanting his phone number. And he just couldn't say no even if he knew he probably should have. There was no way his brothers would approve.

After that, Lester started insisting on doing supply runs just so he could see you.

Then he started making more excuses to go into town and acting generally...strange. Well, strange for Lester.

What the twins hadn't known is that he'd take trips into town of a night as well, without telling them, just for your little dates.

But it wasn't long before the twins knew that something was going on, Lester was hiding something...but why?

They had questioned him but never got a good answer.

However, Lester was not a good liar, not when it came to his brothers, so they didn't believe a word he said or an excuse he came up with.

Eventually the twins decided that there was no way they were going to get an answer from Lester, nor where they going to figure out his little secret unless they found out why he was going into town so often.

They never thought he would be betraying them or anything like that. He was family and they knew that he knew the importance of that, that he was loyal to the family and to Ambrose, just as they were.

They had to just find out by themselves...

So they planned to follow him...

Lester jumped at the opportunity to make a supply run into the nearest town, taking the list and hopping in his truck before heading out. Bo's face was stoic, not giving Vincent any idea of what he was feeling, as they got into his truck, ready to follow their younger brother. Vincent nervously picked at the loose threads of his sweater, it had been a long time since he had left Ambrose but this was important.

They tracked Lester down once they reached the town, and watched as he loaded the supplies into the back of his truck. So far he had just completed the supply run, so far nothing seemed strange. That was...until he started driving in the wrong direction, like he wasn't driving back towards Ambrose. So, the twins continued to follow him, unsure of what to expect but their curiosity peaking.

Neither Bo nor Vincent knew what to expect and Lester pulling up beside a little house didn't give them any clues either. They parked their truck a little up the road so that Lester wouldn't see them, just observing their little brother.

Lester hopped out of his truck with a smile on his face, closing the door before leaning down in front of the wing mirror. He removed his hat, smoothing out his ruffled hair before placing the hat back on his head, a pointless endeavour since the hat would only mess his hair up again, but it told his brothers that he wanted to look good. Which was strange and had them both leaning forward in their seats, Bo's face scrunching up as they watched Lester approaching the house. The twins only got more confused when the front door opened.

As soon as you opened the door and saw Lester smiling on your doorstep, you were grinning ear to ear and pulling him into an embrace.

"I didn't know you were coming by today" you held him by the shoulders as you pulled away from the hug, smiling at him.

"Had t'pick some stuff up. Thought I'd surprise ya" Lester told you, his hands holding you by your waist. Every time you saw him it was the same, his face lighting up at the sight of you.

"You need to stop working so hard, I'm missing you" you chuckled, slipping your arms around his neck as you pressed your lips to his.

"Sorry, Sweatpea" Lester mumbled against your lips before kissing you again, making you laugh into the kiss.

Back in the truck, the twins watches silently as their little brother laughed and kissed up on you.

"What the fuck?" Bo muttered, unable to believe what he was seeing. Beside him, Vincent just shrugged, not having an answer for his twin.

What exactly was happening? When had this started? Who were you?

"Stay here" Bo ordered lowly and Vincent just nodded, knowing better than to argue with his twin. He definitely didn't think that Bo should get involved but he also knew that he couldn't stop him, plus he had to admit that he wanted to know what was going on as well.

Bo climbed out of the truck, slamming the door shut behind him before marching over to the house. Just as you were about to lead Lester inside, an unfamiliar voice got your attention.

"Lester!" Bo called, making you both stop in the doorway and turn back towards the street. He smirked a little at your expressions, you looked more confused than anything but Lester looked horrified, speechless about being caught. "Lester, where y'been?" he called out to his little brother.

"Uh..." Lester stood beside you, dumbfounded as you looked to him for some sort of explanation.

"What, you going all shy?" Bo teased as he strode right up to your front door, throwing his arm around Lester's shoulders and pulling him into his side. The perfect picture of somebody annoying their younger brother. "Hey, I'm Bo" he introduced himself with a charming smile, holding his hand out to you.

"Oh, you're Lester's brother!" your face seemed to light up with recognition, laughing softly as you shook his hand.

"Ah, so he's told you about me?" Bo asked with a smirk, making Lester frown.

"Yeah, you and Vincent" you nodded with a smile as you released his hand.

"That's funny because he ain't mentioned anything about you" he informed you. Lester frowned more, knowing that Bo was trying to hurt you, to put him in a difficult position.

"Yeah, I know. We're just seeing how things go" you shrugged. You had spoken to Lester about your relationship, he had confessed that he hadn't spoke to his brothers, his only family, about you because he doesn't want them to get involved. Now you're beginning to understand his concerns.

"Got nothing to say, little brother?" not getting the response he wanted from you, Bo turned to Lester, shaking him slightly as if to prompt him.

"You follow me or something?" Lester mumbled as he wormed out of Bo's grasp, stepping away from him.

"Something like that" Bo shrugged, a small tug at the corner of his mouth telling Lester that was exactly what had happened. "Just wanted to see what you were sneaking out for...now I see it" he admitted, looking you up and down which had Lester's hands forming fists at his sides. You were off limits, he wouldn't let his brother hurt you.

"You need to go?" you asked Lester, a look of understanding on your face.

Lester just nodded, rubbing the back of his neck, "I'm real sorry..."

"It's alright, Les. I'll see you soon, okay?" you assured him, understanding that he had some intrusive family members, you wouldn't hold it against him.

"Y'sure?" Lester asked, making you smile a little. Was he asking if it was really alright or is you wanted to see him again soon?

"Of course I am" you laughed fondly. "See you later, Lester. Go deal with your brothers" you reassured him, stepping up to him and pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

"Come on, Vincent wants his fucking supplies" Bo rolled his eyes, hurrying Lester along.

"Sure, blame Vin" Lester muttered, shaking his head.

"See ya around, sweetheart" Bo winked at you before tapping Lester's shoulder, telling him it was time to leave.

"See ya later" Lester nodded at you. You nodded back with a smile, waving him off as Bo dragged him back towards his truck.

Once you had disappeared back inside, Vincent climbed out of the truck and joined his two brothers, making sure that his hair fell over his mask. Even though there was nobody else around, he felt the need to do so.

"Why didn't ya say something, Lester?" Bo asked, squinting at his brother, his smirk gone.

"This is exactly why" Lester scoffed, waving between the twins. He hadn't lied to you, he really hadn't wanted his brothers to get involved in his relationship with you.

"You ain't embarrassed of us, are ya?" Bo mused.

"'course not!" Lester huffed, obviously that wasn't the problem. "Just don't want to drag them into it..." he confessed quietly.

His head perked up as Vincent tapped his shoulder, getting his attention.

'You really like them?' Vincent signed, followed by, 'really care about them?'

"Yeah, Vin, I do" Lester nodded, deciding to just tell the truth from here on out as long as it didn't put you at risk.

"Holy shit" Bo muttered, shaking his head. "We are fucking talking about this when we get back. No more secret stops, get you're ass home and you're gonna tell us everything" he demanded, leaving no room for argument.

"Yeah, alright" Lester nodded with a sigh before climbing into his truck.

Sharing a glance, the twins returned to their truck and Lester followed them all the way back to Ambrose. Though, he would have much preferred to be by your side, like he had planned, rather than having to deal with the questions and lecture that awaited him back at Ambrose.

[vickyvicarious]

@dylan-rodrigues in this particular post I was referencing what van Helsing may believe. Based on the symptoms he had heard about (and their similarity to Lucy), I was saying he might consider it possible that Jonathan was bitten before or even potentially still being bitten now.

...That said, I do still believe that Jonathan was indeed bitten, yes. It isn't explicitly described, but there are several very compelling points of textual evidence towards it:

Dracula told the vampire ladies who are clamoring at the door to come drink Jonathan, "Your time is not yet come. Wait! Have patience! To-night is mine. To-morrow night is yours!" The clear implications are that he is saying Jonathan is his tonight, and theirs tomorrow. Since he is speaking of them drinking him, it strongly suggests he too wants to drink him.

Jonathan then prays on the floor during the night, fearing death. Only for his narration to pick up the next morning with him waking in his bed. He knows nighttime is when they are active; he knows this is his last night here. Why would he just stop praying and go to bed? Especially when his reaction on waking is to go right back to praying.

Dracula is full of fresh blood that morning. The most recent child was already drunk from a few days ago, and Jonathan typically is careful to make note whenever the Count leaves the castle. So where else would he get all that blood if not from Jonathan?

Lucy is unable to clearly recall her own experiences of being bitten. The closest she comes is describing her dream, and that can only happen after Dracula has left Whitby and is no longer influencing her. It's very possible Jonathan didn't know what happened to him at the time (though he could potentially remember later).

I also think it fits with the characterization and reason for Dracula to have kept Jonathan alive all this time. Among other things, he's also building his own anticipation for the bite. Seasoning Jonathan's blood with a month and a half of terror and despair and shattered hopes and reluctant reliance on his captor, all for an even more delicious victory when he drinks from him on the last night. There is so much intentional build of ominous intimacy that this culmination is almost needed for Dracula's other actions to really work, or at least to get the most out of them.

This would also tie in to certain themes and parallels, such as between Jonathan and Lucy, reversals between Jonathan and Dracula, and other spoilery stuff as well, that I shan't mention now.

Meta things too, like the fact that in early drafts when first 'rescuing' Jonathan from the vampire ladies, Stoker's notes had Dracula saying, "This man belongs to me I want him" instead of the final "This man belongs to me." (which is still suggestive of him having the same ultimate goal for Jonathan as them, though less explicitly so). Also, the "tonight is mine" line got edited out of the British version, presumably for being too potentially hinting at homosexual blood-drinking/assault.

Sure, it's not outright stated, but neither are most of Lucy's bites and we connect the dots from things like Dracula visiting her in bat-form again. We get a few really dramatic descriptions but for the most part it is either described by someone who doesn't understand what they are seeing, or clues that only we as readers/van Helsing can connect to vampires. It's the same with the crew, we can figure out Dracula is killing them without ever seeing it happen directly. And I think that (while left ambiguous probably for censorship reasons) we are intended to be able to figure out that Dracula drank from Jonathan as well. The biggest difference is that he is the only narrator around, so we don't get any outside perspective of this attack.

So then, based on what you pointed out about Mina's opened and unopened letters to Lucy, what Van Helsing has read and knows about Jonathan from them is:

-Jonathan was healthy and just arrived in Transylvania and sent a telegram in early May

-Mina found him in August miles away from his destination, pale, extremely thin, bedridden, unable to remember anything about what happened to him after a period of incoherence. Has been having terrible dreams and vague fear even now. All this sounds pretty similar to Lucy...

Now, Transylvania is in the general area that as Jonathan at the very beginning says is where all known superstitions had sprung from (according to his research at the british museum). Now we know that Van Helsing believes that the supernatural and vampires exist and has read about how to keep them away and how to prevent them from rising. It's very possible that he also knows Transylvania = vampires.

Therefore, he probably concludes that Jonathan's condition and Lucy's may be connected...

Yes, exactly! He doesn't know that Whitby had any link to the same vampire that got Jonathan, or that Jonathan was said vampire's employee, etc. etc.... but what he can see of Jonathan is still definitely reminiscent of Lucy enough that it would make him want to know more. After all, he still doesn't know anything about the vampire who killed Lucy, and if here is another possible vampire victim linked to her by association and similar timing (at most a few months apart), then his records from Transylvania, land known to contain vampires, could be of vital use.

Also, it's possible that the reason his recovery is so slow/still marked by nightmares and weakness might be related to him still being fed upon. Lucy lasted a while before things got to the point of near-death each night. It's less likely if he seems to be slowly on the mend, and if his wife is sleeping right next to him and hasn't noticed, but not totally impossible either.

At the very least, Mina's Whitby journal is definitely relevant and might have clues about the mystery vampire who killed Lucy. But Jonathan's condition/story could be very important as well.

[theinvisiblecapricorn]

Surprise, surprise.

Author's note: This is my first ever written one shot. The inspiration popped into my head during my shower. Please let me know what you think. Enjoy

Fluffy one shot.

Part 1.

// Introduction //

A little info about Y/N and Vinnie.

So, you guys met during the first Covid lockdown.

You weren’t really seeing anyone of your friends during this time because you didn’t feel like taking any risks. So the only way for you to interact with anyone, was via social media. Before lockdown you also kind of give up on the idea of finding a lover because the last time you gave it a shot it didn’t work out.

You remember one of your best friends told you ‘’ Once you start focusing on yourself, it’ll come to you. ‘’ Well, what better way to focus on yourself other than during quarantine?

That’s when Vinnie came into the picture.

After many failed attempts of having a normal conversation with serval people, the last thing Vinnie expected was to meet someone like you. A lot of the time people tried to take advantage of the fact that he was famous. They would post his personal info on social media and share their conversations for clout. Just like you, Vinnie was kind of over the idea of meeting someone who would like him for his personality instead of his name.

You guys instantly clicked. It felt like talking to someone you’ve known your entire life. There wasn’t a thing you couldn’t share with another. But because the two of you lived in different time zones you couldn’t talk as much as you’d like, but you made it manageable. There was only one problem; traveling was not an option due to Covid, so the two of you had never seen each other in real life.

Until now…

// End of introduction //

Alex (Warren) set up his camera to make a video.

He clicked on record and looked into the camera.

‘’ So as you guys know, Vinnie and Y/N met online in the beginning of Covid, but they’ve never officially seen each other in real life. Now that traveling is allowed again and Vinnie hasn’t been feeling himself lately, I thought it was a good idea to surprise him. I bought y/n a plan ticket so she can come over and hopefully cheer Vinnie up. And I will document the entire journey. ‘’

// Vinnie’s POV //

It’s noon. I lay on my bed, scrolling on my phone through TikTok. I haven’t heard from Y/N all day. Normally she would call me before going to bed herself, but she never did. I tried texting her but no reply.

Y/NNNN????

Yo bro, you there???

I miss your voiceeee

Please don’t be asleep already 

Pick up!!!!!! Or else I’m coming for you.

God, I wish I could just fly to wherever she was at and kiss her entire face. Because, yes, I am indeed in love with her, and she feels the same way about me. I just never thought I could recognize so much of myself in someone else. She’s the most kind, beautiful and loving person I know, and I can’t wait to hold her in my arms one day and never let go.

I’m starting to daydream about a life with y/n without the long distance, because it truly sucks. Then I hear a knock on the door and before I know it Alex comes rushing in with his camera in his hand.

( Vinnie & Alex )

‘’ Vinnie, say hello to everyone! ‘’

‘’ Hello everyone. Alex what do you want? ‘’

‘’ Why are you assuming I want something from you? ‘’

‘’ Because you only enter my room if you either have one of your crazy ideas to share or if you want me to get involved in something I probably shouldn’t get involved into. ‘’

‘’ Pfft, not true. My ideas aren’t crazy, they’re brilliant in their own way. ‘’

Alex grins at me. Suspiciously.

‘’ Anyways that’s not the point Vincent, I actually came in to see if you would join me to get some groceries because the only thing left are rise waffles and I’m starving. ‘’

Alex is blinking his eyes with the same grin he has had on from the moment he came into my room.

He’s not going to leave until I agree on coming. So before I know it, we’re on our way to the grocery store.

// Y/N’s POV //

I received a text from Alex a few weeks ago. He told me about his idea to surprise Vinnie. I couldn’t be more excited. Ever since Vinnie and I started talking I have pushed many of my personal boundaries. In a positive way. Vinnie has helped me regain trust in others and has showed me that love is real. I have lost my faith in love due to my previous experiences. That’s why the connection that I have with Vinnie is so important to me.

I have arrived at the airport as I turn on my phone. My phone starts to receive all the missed text messages and calls from Vinnie. I smile as I read through them.

‘’ Oh Vin, if only you knew ‘’ I think to myself.

I hear someone yelling my name behind me. As I turn around, I see Nailea running towards me.

Nailea is a close friend of Vinnie so of course she was the first to know about Vinnie’s contact with me. She’s been super kind to me, and I consider her as the sister I never had.

Nailea hugs me once she has approached me.

( Y/N & Nailea )

‘’ OH MY GOD. Girl, I am so happy that you’re finally hereeeee!!! ’’

I laugh as I see people around looking at us.

‘’ I am also very happy to be here. To finally meet everyone. For real. ‘’

‘’ Yea, now tell me, does my nose look bigger on the screen than in real life? ‘’

‘’ Hahaha, no Nai. You look fantastic on the screen and even better in real life. ‘’

Nailea and I take my stuff and walk out of the airport.

Once settled in the car, I receive a text from Alex:

We’re almost at the store. He hasn’t got a clue. See you there.

This is all a part of Alex his big plan. First, I will act like a regular costumer shopping at the same store as Vinnie and Alex. Then once they get back, Alex will distract Vinnie just a little longer, so he won’t notice me walking past the car right away. Brilliant.

// Vinnie’s POV //

Alex and I walk into the store.

‘’ Alright, what do we need? ‘’

‘’ Anything but rise waffles. ‘’

I shake my head, laughing, as I walk to the lemonade aisle.

Alex is taking out his camera and starts filming me from a far.

I start singing Paparazzi by Lady Gaga as I act like I'm hiding from him.

‘’ Oh, you should also take a few cans of coke. ‘’ Alex suggests.

As I walk towards the aisle with cans of lemonade, I notice a girl standing in front of it. Her hair instantly reminds me of Y/N. The exact same length, color and texture. Call me a simp, but I just pay a lot of attention to the girl I love. I slowly approach the girl before Alex attacks be by throwing a teddy bear on my head.

‘’ Hey, watch it! ‘’ I fix my hair.

‘’ Sorry man, I just know how much you like teddy bears. ‘’ Alex’s laughing out loud as he zooms in to my face.

I laugh, as I start to think back to the day Alex thought it would be funny to buy a giant teddy bear and have Patrick in it to scare me.

Just then, I notice the girl was gone. I didn’t see her anywhere else again.

After collecting all the stuff, we needed, we went home.

Once we arrived home, Alex stopped me before I opened my car door.

‘’ Let’s just sit here for a bit and talk about some stuff. ‘’ I stare at Alex with a confused look on my face.

‘’ Yea, because the viewers want to know, how are things going between you and Y/N? ‘’

I scratch the back of my neck and start feeling the heat take over my cheeks.

‘’ I mean, it’s hard sometimes. She’s one of the most important people in my life, yet I haven’t even met her in person. But I just know that once I do, that everything will naturally fall into it’s place. ‘’

Alex pouts as he listens to all the sweet things I have to say.

‘’ You really like her, don’t you? ‘’

‘’ I mean, yea I do. I really do. ‘’

‘’ Alright, so imagine her standing in front of you right now, what would you do? ‘’

I look at my hands as I start to imagine a situation like that.

‘’ Uh… If she was standing in front of me right now.. I would.. ‘’ My eyes scan a figure walking past the car and I couldn’t believe my eyes.

// Y/N’s POV //

Shit, I almost got caught. The plan was to go into the store, just to admire Vinnie from a far. I didn’t plan to stand in the exact aisle, where he needed to get something from. Luckily, Alex had a plan to distract Vinnie while I fled to the exit. Phew, that was close.

Alex texted me, saying they were on their way home. That’s when it hit me, I am going to be able to see, touch and kiss Vinnie for the first time ever. Nailea noticed my anxiety kicking in and she told me everything would be just fine.

It didn’t take long before Alex’s car pulled up on the driveway. Alex and Vinnie stayed in the car for a bit. My phone started buzzing as I read the notification: ‘’ Now!’’ That was my cue.

As nervous as one can be, I walked past the car with the person who’s the other half of my heart in it. I didn’t dare to look in his direction.

// Vinnie’s POV //

I couldn’t believe my eyes. This isn’t real right? Was I dreaming? I mean, I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night because I was worried sick due to Y/N not responding to me anymore.

I rub my eyes as I watch in the direction of the person again and there’s no way it couldn’t be her.

Then she turns her face into my direction and my heart starts pounding. There she is, the love of my life, the only person who can make my day just by popping up in my notifications, Y/N.

As I try to open my door, I hear Alex locking it.

‘’ Let me out! ‘’ I look at Alex as I try to unlock the door, but unable because he keeps his hand infront of the lock.

‘’ You haven’t answered my question yet. ‘’ Alex smirks at me, but I do not find it funny at all.

‘’ Please, let me out and I’ll show you what I would do if she were to stand in front of me ‘’

And with, I heard the door unlock. I jumped out of the car and ran as fast as I could to the person who I longed for the most.

Click here for part two;

[astaroth1357]

Demon Brothers React to MC Getting Kidnapped by Lesser Demons.

Watch out for minor first half spoilers!!

Lucifer

Kicking himself because he has to find out through Mammon that the MC is missing and he didn’t notice their absence himself.

The second the alarm gets raised he gets into a state somewhere between coldly rational and extraordinarily furious. 

Definitely still level-headed enough to rally and organize his brothers for a search party but there's nothing but seething rage just rolling off of him the entire time. Probably-could-have-made-another-Satan type rage.

How well he keeps his composure will be based entirely on how long the MC is MIA. The first hour or so will be mostly put together but past that he'll start to slowly unravel as the panic takes hold.

At one point he even gets snippy with Diavolo over the phone and that's when you KNOW that he's reaching meltdown mode.

If he's the first to find the MC, his #1 priority is to get them away from whatever scum grabbed them and take them to the closest safe place he can find. He'd scoop them up so fast they won't even know where he came from, just whoosh! How'd I get on this roof??

Only once they're out of harm’s way will he circle back and deal with their kidnappers personally. You better be sure any damage done to his human will be reflected a thousandfold back onto their attackers. Probably coming back to the MC with some blood on him and is not going to care.

Relieved to have the MC back but restricts them from going out alone after a certain time now for their own good. If they need something that badly, they can come to him.

Also strings Mammon up by his toes that night for losing them in the first place.

"By the time Cerberus gets to you, I'll be sure you're only my table scraps…"

Mammon

The first to notice that the MC was being oddly quiet (thank their father for his text spamming habit) then found their stuff scattered and abandoned at RAD.

Told Lucifer right away and, oh boy, he is a mess: talking a mile a minute, punctuating his sentences with expletives, on the verge of tears, whole nine yards.

He left his human alone for what?? Like five minutes, if even, to go to the library and get themselves kidnapped?! What kind of guardian is he?!?

Already searching the place top-to-bottom without being told where to go or what to do.

He actually ends up a strange inverse of Lucifer. While Lucifer will start panicking more over time, Mammon will start panicking less as his fear escalates to all out anger. Give it a few hours and he’s not even going to be able to keep his demon form under control anymore.

You know this boy is legging it across the entire Devildom himself waving around some kind of hand-drawn "Have You Seen This Human?" flyer looking for any leads at all.

If he were to find the MC first, his first action would probably be to plant his foot right in the face of whoever took them. Hard. Then repeat until their skull’s a caved-in mess on floor. No mercy this time, just pure protective rage.

Following the fight, you'd think he was just reunited with his lost puppy. Lots of crying, hugging, and blubbering out apologies even when the rest of his brothers show up.

Would pretty much be glued to the MC's hip for at least a week afterward and makes more of a point to hang off of them in public now. They're his human after all, can't have anyone else getting the idea of pulling a stunt like that again.

"MC!! What'd ya go runnin' off for?? We're goin' home after I take out this trash, got it!!"

Leviathan 

Wouldn't really want to believe it at first because it just feels too unreal, like, the same thing happened to Henry in Episode 86 of TSL when he was kidnapped by enemies of the Lord of Fools and it was up to his true friend to track him down…

Suddenly remembers that Henry was also tortured while he was taken and that really sets in the panic.

Unsure of how to help at first because he knows he's just a useless shut-in but Belphie of all people is the one to remind him that he does have one big advantage over his brothers: a fucking navy.

In an act of surprising backbone, he more or less demands a full fleet of ships from Diavolo and (honestly to his shock) he gets exactly that to comb the Devil’s Sea while looking for MC. Lotan even helps out!

If he were to be the first to find the MC (presuming they are indeed on a boat or something cause 🤷‍♀️) those kidnappers really shouldn't have challenged the third strongest brother in his natural element, eh? Those who aren't automatically lashed in the face or flung overboard by his tail get hung by the leg over the edge of the ship for Lotan to pick off one by one.

Sails back to shore with MC booming with pride that he of all people finally got to be their hero! Will literally be so happy if MC ever brings it up again, doesn't matter how much time has passed.

Things would settle back to normal pretty quickly after that, but he now checks up on the MC a lot more often and will even leave his room for them if they need to go somewhere and don't want to go alone. Can't have this turning into a rerun, you know?

"You hurt my only friend… So drown."

Satan

One guess how the Avatar of Wrath took the news. It's not swimmingly.

Unless your definition of "swimmingly" is a murderous rampage of toppling furniture, breaking windows, and swearing to curse right about anything that moves, in which case aptly put. 

He gets stuck in an anger-induced tantrum for a bit before finally getting snapped back into coherent thought by Belphie and putting those mystery novels of his to good use. Smart boi takes second to Lucifer himself in the search, suggesting good locations for his brothers scout based on what clues they have to go on.

Of course, he's not content to just to call orders from the sidelines and is out searching himself like he's on the goddamn warpath. Doors? Who needs doors? If anything the hole I made in your wall is more efficient.

Should he be the first to find the MC he would coolly and methodically subdue any kidnapper he can get his hands on, release his human, and bring them home as soon as possible. They've been through quite enough today and don't need to see anything he's got planned for the bastards later.

But the second that Diavolo puts them in the castle dungeon, you best bet that Henry 1.0 is going to the LEAST of their worries. Who's ever wanted to play a life or death game of hide and seek with a giant snake and the incarnation of Wrath itself? First one caught gets the "quick" death! Any volunteers?

Might give the MC a mild scolding for going out when they shouldn't have but otherwise is just happy to see them back and safe. May act extra soft towards them for a couple days, just until the nerves of the situation finally wear off.

"Don't mistake this for mercy. I assure you, I don't know the meaning of the word."

Asmodeus

Highkey freaking out, like, almost as hysterical as Mammon when he hears the news. 

Being the Avatar of Lust, he of course knows there's a whole lot of creeps out there in the world and he is utterly terrified that his poor MC has fallen victim to one at that moment.

For once, all thoughts of himself and his looks are out the window. What? It's past 2am and MC is still gone? I can stay up another hour! Dry shampoo and a washcloth counts as a shower, right? Who the fuck cares, where's MC?? Somebody find them already!!

Pools his contact list with Satan's and starts reaching out across the whole Devildom asking for people to be on the lookout and offer tips. Also begs Solomon to use his magic to help in the search (which he's more than happy to do anyway because he cares about the MC too)

If he were to find MC first it'd be one of those rare cases where he'd be seen really truly enraged. No cute banter, no playful flirting, just telling those worthless scum-vats exactly where they belong and exactly how he's going to put them there. Is it any surprise that he's also madsick with a whip?

Crazy relieved that MC is free, but now it's on them to help him clean up and get back to his prettiest self. I mean, he worried himself half to death while they were gone! All this dirt and sweat going to take three, no four, bathes to fully clean off!! Best hop to it~♡

"Touch them one more time and I'm going to set fire to whatever landfill trash like you crawls out of!!"

Beelzebub

It can't be happening. It honestly can't be happening. First he loses Lilith and now MC?? He can't lose two. He. Can't. Lose. Two.

Pretty much the mantra going through his head as he tears the Devildom apart with his bare hands. 

It's 1000x worse than how he gets when he's hungry because at least then he might stop when he finally gets fed. Now it's either find MC or wait until he collapses from exhaustion and hope he doesn’t leave the whole realm a smoldering crater before he gets that far.

There's no reasoning with him either, the best the brothers can do is steer him in a direction and let him loose.

If he found MC first he probably wouldn't even realize it for a bit, he'd just keep attacking whatever or whoever is in front of him on his path of blind destruction. It'd take the MC literally flinging themselves at him or throwing their arms around him to snap him out of it but then it's back to sweetheart Beel.

Hugs ensue. Really tight hugs. Probably a few tears and apologies too (even if it’s not really his fault at all). 

Woe to anyone who tries going for the MC once he’s sure he has them because they WILL be broken then eaten. He’ll encourage his human not to look, but some things just have to be done.

Would absolutely carry MC back home and refuse to put them down until the others force him to. The floor may as well be lava planning on taking them away from him too.

Wouldn't care as much about personal vengeance as his brothers as long as MC is safe. He'll trust that his family will more than punish the kidnappers (though chances are he already took a chunk or two out of a few of them during his rampage anyway).

Protective instincts up by 100 after this, though Belphie usually steps in and eases him back a bit when he's about to get suffocating. MC never travels without a buddy now, ever. He just can't risk it.

"MC, I-I'm sorry… I just couldn’t lose you too…"

Belphegor

Keeps the coolest head of all the brothers on the outside, but there's a cold fury building up in those eyes.

Pretty much takes charge of whipping everyone back into gear with a combination stinging remarks and heavy duty guilt tripping. May not be the nicest method, but it's effective. 

"Asmo, grow a freaking spine and do something useful for a change! Mammon, this your fault to start with so you ought to be breaking your ass to find them! Satan, watching you is getting embarrassing, pull yourself together and think like you're good at it!"

His harshest criticisms get saved for Lucifer (big shock) but he only dishes them out when he sees his older brother really losing his grip or teetering on losing hope. If the “mighty firstborn” can’t keep it together then why should they even listen to him in the first place?

When he's not administering "motivation," he's keeping tabs on Beel's progression through the Devildom and trying to minimize the damage there. He's the only one that can get through to him long enough to change his course if necessary.

If he were to find the MC first, well, unlike Satan he doesn't have the forethought to save the torture for later. It's happening right here, right now, and you better bet that being the last born doesn't stop him from being a force to be reckoned with.

Waits with the MC for his brothers to catch up to them and deal with any stragglers. May cuddle with them and look like he's trying to take a nap in the meantime, but in truth he's still very alert, on edge, and ready to absolutely wreck shit if anything gets too close to them.

Though it doesn't look like his lazy ass goes through the same protective streak as his brothers, he's a lot quicker to try and convince the MC to stay home now. No out and about=less chance of getting nabbed. Plus he keeps his favorite pillow, win-win. 😏

"What about your worthless lives makes you think you deserve my mercy??"

[qyllenhaal]

Good Wives Club [2]

Lee Bodecker x Reader. 3rd POV. Word Count: 4.2k.

Spin-off to American Pie

Chapter One || Chapter Three

Summary: It's been more than a year since she's escaped the ghost of her past but life is never fair to a girl like her. Lee doesn't care that she has a husband, a nice house, and sugary fake friends, he wants what's rightfully his.

Warnings (series): Cheating, smut, violence, housewife kink, period-typical misogyny, age gap (about a ten year difference), manipulation, dark themes all around.

A/N: If anyone wants to be added to future tag list just let me know!

Y/n woke up at 5am with a dry mouth and her head spinning. Her night has been plagued with restlessness and she couldn't stay still. When she did fall asleep, it was for small periods of time. Each time she woke up she was not aware of where she was for the first five seconds, panic almost setting in before she registered the sound of her husband snoring.

The end of her irregular sleep cycle ended because she saw the hallway light was on. She sighed when realized it must be time for her husband to get ready for work. She virtually got no sleep and she'll probably be tired for the rest of the day.

She gets up from their creaky bed and starts walking down the hallway. It takes a while for her eyes to adjust to the brightness as she slowly plods down the hallway. She follows the light to the bathroom where she can hear her husband getting ready for work. On the days he goes in this early Y/n is relieved that she doesn't have to get up and cook breakfast for him.

The door is cracked but she opens it to find him inside. She situates herself in the doorway, watching him shave his face through the mirror.

"Good morning," he spoke with a scratchy voice. Even though Y/n didn't marry Llewellyn for love, she's still attracted to him and likes his company most of the time. She feels an ache inside of her that wants him to take her, but after running into Lee last night she's afraid she won't be able to get Lee's face out of her mind while beneath her husband.

"Good morning. Going in early?"

"Yep. Dad wants to do inventory today since he put it off last week."

"Oh okay," she accepts quietly, ready to leave her husband alone so he can get ready in peace.

However he asks her a surprising question, "hey, did you enjoy last night?"

"Uh, it was fine I guess. Did you?" Her hope is that he at least enjoyed himself somewhat.

"You know I don't like that super fancy stuff like that, but I have to eat crow; it wasn't all that bad and Bodecker's not as bad as I thought. He's kind of a funny guy. I still think he's not as hard on crime like everyone claims he is, but personally, he's not that bad. Florence was nice too. She invited us to dinner on Wednesday night, apparently that's the only night Lee has off. I told her we'd be able to join them."

The turn of events was shocking. Y/n couldn't believe her ears and she thought maybe she indeed was still asleep. Lou was not fond of many people and his only "friends" were his two brothers so him warming up to Lee and Florence left her speechless. So speechless that she didn't register the fact that he accepted a dinner invite for them.

"What?"

"What do you mean ‘what’? You dragged me to that dinner last night and wanted me to be nice, and now you're confused when I do just that?"

"I-I'm not confused...just shocked," she admits truthfully, "I can't believe you want to go to someone’s house who isn't your mother house for dinner —are you sure you want to go?"

"We're going Y/n."

His tone of voice indicates that the conversation is done and over with and the decision has been made. Y/n didn't even get to contest his decision but Lou can tell when Y/n is in a defiant mood. Her folding her arms and walking away was confirmation for him. She stalks her way back to the bedroom where she takes to hiding under the covers.

Lee and Lou under the same roof — it makes her stomach churn just to think about it. They're wildly different from each other but the thing she hates about them is what they have in common.

All she can hope is that this nightmare ends and she wakes back up to a life without Lee's ghost lingering around.

-

She decided to go with a floral dress again. She really wanted to take out the checkerboard dress that made her legs look good and showed off her arms, but Lou would have made her change before she had the chance to step out of the house. The floral print is dizzying, but it's the kind of dress that Lou likes to see her wear.

It's just a small dinner at the Bodecker's house but Y/n opts for kitten heels instead of sensible flats. She feels obligated to look her best despite there being less people to dress for. She's never been alone with Florence save for that day at the grocery store. Florence is always dressed to the 10's and Y/n needs to look just as good, if not better. She claims to hate Lee, but it would be so satisfying if she caught Lee ogling her breasts.

"Are you ready?"

Y/n thought Lou was too dressed up for a home dinner of four. He wore a pinstriped suit and those nice leather shoes he bought himself around the holidays.

"As ready as I'll ever be," she sighs in an attempt to let off some steam.

It was a shorter drive than Y/n expected. Florence hadn't disclosed where she lived before, but Brewer Heights wasn't that for them to live at a distance. The sun was nearly dipped over the horizon and the remaining light that hits their house makes it look like a model home. Everything little aspect and detail Y/n was going to compare herself too. She lives in a nice house, but Florence lives in a nicer house. It tears her up knowing she has the ultimate upper hand over Florence in the form of her own husband and she can't even act upon it. She would royally fuck up her life and their lives too if she decide to let her jealousy get the best of her.

As she walks up their stairs as another man's wife, she accepts that she is jealous. She's always been jealous of Florence even when she didn't know her name. What made her so worthy of all of these things? Lee used to act like he hates the woman so she must be a bitch behind closed doors. It wouldn't be surprising if she is because most people in this town will smile in your face and then gossip about you a minute later.

Lou knocks on the door and only a second later Florence is opening the door with a big smile on her face and Lee right next to her. He wore his police uniform without the jacket while Florence looked like a Lilly Pulitzer catalog girl.

It only took one millisecond of their eyes locking together for Y/n to feel the electricity between her and Lee. She drags her eyes away from his, but she can bet that he has a smirk on her face. He always liked to see her squirm; in a good and bad way.

"Y/n, Llewellyn! I'm so glad you could make it! Why don't you come on in," Florence steps to the side, nudging Lee over with her, to make way for Y/n and her husband.

Her eyes scan over every inch of their house. It's warm, cozy, and oddly comforting. Everything little thing was in its place; perfectly dusted and polished. Y/n is sure that Lee had no hand in decorating this place, it screams Florence through and through.

"Dinner is almost ready. I started the scalloped potatoes a little too late, but it should be done soon! Y/n, do you want to help me set the table?"

Y/n didn't want to leave her husband alone with Lee, but she also didn't want to be in the room with just them. She nods at Florence and follows behind her to their kitchen.

The house smells like Lou's parent's house on holidays. Y/n's stomach rumbles and she doesn't realize how hungry she was. She despises herself for wanting Florence's cooking, but she barely ate today because of how nervous she was.

"I already laid out the place mates, you can place the plates and silverware."

Y/n picks up the expensive dining ware that Florence points towards. She wonders if Florence cooks like this all the time, even when Lee works well into the night.

The walls of their dining room have an awful floral pattern. Y/n is beginning to become sick at the sight of anything that pertains to flowers. The cedar table is perfect for accommodating guests and Y/n wonders how many dinner parties they had in this room. Florence seems to put a lot of stock into being a good hostess. Y/n herself has yet to throw a dinner party at her home, but setting the plates on someone else's dining room table feels like practice. She silently imagines her house filled with Lou's family as she cooks dinner for them.

Florence enters the room and starts placing the dishes in the middle of the table. Her presence takes Y/n out of her fantasy, and when she sees how Florence made a 3-course-meal she feels worse.

"Does the food look good? I tried some new recipes from Julia Child's cookbook to try to impress you and Llewellyn," she admits, "I wasn't sure what you two would like, but Lee loves when I make those recipes from Julia Child and I bet Llewellyn would love it too! I could lend you the book some time!"

"Of course. I love her work!" Y/n lies straight through her teeth. She has no clue who the hell Julia Child is.

Florence grabs one last thing before calling the husbands into the dining room. She places one beer on the coasters designated for Lee and Lou. Lou has never been much of a drinker, but she knows that Lee can knock down a few beers in one sitting. He might be on his best behavior tonight in front of his wife and company.

"Dinner's ready!" Florence called out.

Y/n took her seat on the right side of the table and Florence sat opposite of her. Their husbands come walking in laughing as if they were young boys sneaking back into the house during a family get together. Y/n doesn't like it; she doesn't like it at all. They look too cheery with each other and she knows that Lee is doing it on purpose — she can see it in his eyes when he quickly glances at her. He takes pride in making her uncomfortable. Y/n wishes she had that same affect on him to scare him off a bit, but no matter how chummy she gets with Florence, Lee looks unbothered.

Florence stands up from her seat as if she's presenting the food on the table to an audience. Everything is placed perfectly with the main dish being the middle of the smaller plates.

"This looks great honey, you made a whole feast," Lee walked up to Florence's side and kissed on the cheek. Y/n's eyes are trained on his hand snaking around her waist and giving her a light squeeze before letting go. When she pulls her eyes away from his hands, she sees that Florence almost looks shocked at her husband's affection; Lee is definitely putting on a show for Y/n and it's a damn good one.

Lee sits opposite of Lou and the first thing he does is open his beer. The food isn't even on plates anymore and he's drinking.

"I hope you like Schmidt's, Llewellyn. Lee loves it so it's all we have in the house."

"I'm not one to drink beer often, but I'll try it. And call me Lou, Florence."

Lou was acting out of his normal character. Him only interacting with his family and Y/n left him a bit awkward in the presence of others, but around Florence and Lee he seems to be much...warmer. If Lee was someone else then Y/n would be over the moon, but because it's him she can't even force herself to even look happy about it.

Y/n takes note of how Florence places portions of food on Lee's plate. They were small portions too. She was always strict about what he ate and how much he drank. She's surprised Florence is letting him drink tonight, but she must be trying to look nicer in front of guests.

Y/n was not as controlling as Florence. She always let Lou fix his plate to his liking. She thought it made her a good wife for letting her husband make his own decisions. But Y/n felt a tap on her shoulder after she finished making her own plate. He looked down at his empty plate before looking back at her and nodded towards the food.

"Y/n," he tries to whisper but his tone is rather harsh.

"What?" She whispers back in true confusion.

"My plate."

He looked at her as if she was crazy, as if it was a common occurrence for her to fix his plate. She starts to scramble to save herself from further embarrassment, the sound of silverware against plates so loud. She can feel the stares coming from the other side of the table but she doesn't dare look up.

Her skin began to grow hot. Her husband had embarrassed her in front of Lee and Florence. The worst part was when Florence tried to change the subject to something lighthearted to pull the attention off of Y/n. She felt small and useless. Lou never expected her to fix his plate, but he looked at her as if she was crazy for not doing so. She didn't want to spend dinner almost in tears. This changed behavior in her husband is giving her whiplash and making her dizzy.

"So, Y/n, did you enjoy the other night?"

"It was really nice Florence," she replies sheepishly.

"Susie and I put so much work into planning it. You should join us next time! We're going to start working on the fundraising events for Lee's next campaign-"

"Let's not talk about that tonight Florence," Lee interrupts. It was a moment that would've left Y/n embarrassed if she was in Florence's shoes but Florence was much better at masking her emotions. Only for a split second can Y/n see Florence flinch at his interjection before she just smiles.

"Sorry Lee, you know how excited I get about those things," she masks her apology in a cheery voice.

Dinner basically became a probe of Y/n and Lou's relationship. Florence wanted to know how they met, when they got married, how long they had been together, and what their future plans together were. Y/n let Lou answer the last question by herself because she genuinely didn't know what their future plans were. Lou usually wakes up and decides what major life change they're going to undertake, that's what happened when he decided to move to Brewer Heights.

When the topic of work came up, Y/n thought the coast was clear. Lou talked extensively about the work he does with his father and what his plan is for the next five years regarding the business.

"Once my father retires I'll have to hire someone to do his job. I didn’t go study in school after high school so I can't take over his position, even though it would make things easier."

"I'm sure you can find someone. I know it's rare for someone to leave the city and come to this little town, but Brewer Heights is always a nice incentive!"

"It is nice here," Lou agrees, "and it's quiet. We were in Meade before which is okay-"

"But, it's nothing like Brewer Heights," Florence interjects. "So, Y/n, what did you do before meeting Lou?"

Lee had not looked her way since the plate-fixing incident but his eyes were sure on her now. If his mouth wasn't stuffed with food he'd be grinning from ear to ear waiting for her answer. He knows she's not a good liar, but she's going to have to come up with something.

"I helped my mom with her business. She used to sell fruit preserves out of the house before she passed."

It wasn't a complete lie. She did help her mother label her jars, but that became less frequent when her hours picked up at Tecumseh. Her parents didn't know about her job either; she told them she was a waitress and it was a safe lie seeing as they didn't go out to diners.

"I'm sorry for your loss, I'm sure she was a lovely woman if she raised such a lovely daughter! Have you ever thought of continuing her business?"

"Not really. It was pretty small. I still make the preserves sometimes for Lou and I."

"If you wouldn't mind, would you be interested in making some for us one day? You don't have to if you don't want to, but it's just so hard to find any good fruit preserves around town." Florence's social habits were very transparent once you were around her for long; she tends to make it impossible for people to say no to her by making them feel bad about even possibly saying no.

"I'd love to Florence. I have fresh peaches at home and I can make peach preserves."

"Oh I'd love that so much," she fawns, "a jar for me and a jar for Lee! He loves his sweets."

"I'm not too big on peaches, Flo. You know I like cherries more."

"You always have," she leans into him and pats him on the chest before straightening up again.

The audacity of Lee is astounding, however not only is he a cop, he's the sheriff. It's such a cowardly move to pick at Y/n when she can't react, but what someone would call cowardly, he'd call fun. She looks like she wants to disappear from her spot and it scratches an itch for him. He missed seeing her get flustered and if he'd known that it would be much more enjoyable to taunt her while his wife was around, he would have found a reason a long time ago to bring her around.

And as if the night couldn't be more humiliating for her, Lou finished his plate before anyone else. He devoured the food on his plate, like a starved man. Y/n felt embarrassed when her husband went for seconds. He never eats this much at home, even when she makes his favorite meals. It makes her want to reach across the dinner table and smack Florence in the face. She hates her; she hates that she has to smile in her face and be friends with her. It's her own fault for continuing this "friendship" with Florence, but her rage makes her blind to her own faults.

She could ruin Florence's life with one sentence: "I've been fucking your husband for years." She'd cause a scene but it would be so gratifying.

Instead she just shuts her mouth and lets dinner continue without anymore incidents.

-

Y/n thought it would show she was grateful for dinner if she helped Florence with the dishes. She was glad to accept Y/n's help and the two spent their time in the kitchen while Lee and Lou sat on the back porch. With Lee's influence, Lou took another drink out back with him. Y/n wondered what they had to talk about, but she would truly not like to know.

"Your wife cooks like that every night, sheriff?"

"Enough with the title. And she cooks every night, but she went a little overboard since she was happy with having guests," he tells him. If it was anybody else, Lee would just answer the questions and not have any for himself. However, he really wants to know what Y/n has been up to since she's adopted this new image. "How about Y/n? Does she cook for you like that?"

"Not at all. She tries, but she's not the good of a cook," he brings the alcohol up to his lips before pulling away and sighing, "she tries but it's just not her best."

"Her mother didn't teach her how to cook?"

"I don't know much about her family. Her mother was dead when I met her and her father doesn't seem to be doing so well. They're from the same area as my folks but moved when they had Y/n. Maybe she was just too spoiled considering she's an only child."

Y/n's past was a mystery to Lee too, but he's surprised to learn she hasn't opened up to her husband. All he knows is that whether it was her home life or not, something had messed her up and it was almost made worse by her time at Tecumseh. He isn't sure how she made it out, but so much of her old life still bleeds through.

"You know I thought I was getting a good girl. One that would clean and have dinner ready when I get home," Lou continued.

Lee wanted to laugh in his face. Lou is proof that you can come from a smart family and still be dumb as rocks. How could he not know what type of girl Y/n was when he first laid eyes on her? She'd dress just like his sister Sandy; shorts that suffered from mistreatment over the years and a sleeveless blouse that was always stained. He's sure her hair was mussed up that day too. Many people would mistake her for a whore (which many people did see her as one even though she didn't outright sell her body to anyone).

"It can't be that bad," Lee tried to vouch for his former lover. Even he can name some good qualities about her; they just don't include any wifely qualities.

"It's not, but things could be better. Anytime I tell her to shape-up she gets this timid look on her face and flinches a little bit. I try to be nice and gentle but I'm losing my patience with her. I’m not looking to leave her, but what’s the point of marrying a woman who can’t do anything? She won’t even talk to me about having kids — was Florence ever like this?”

“No. Her family is from here so she’s been primed to be a housewife. But I will say it’s not all that fun havin’ a doting wife…she’s overbearing at times and I can never unwind with her around. She’s always on my ass about somethin’.”

Lee felt the need to vouch for Y/n. Anytime he would go to Tecumseh, she would accompany out back or get into his cruiser whenever he told her to. All the gritty things he dealt with at work, everything he kept inside, he dumped it on her. Florence would never sit there to listen to his grievances. Lee would never admit it, but he was vulnerable around Y/n, he knew that she would always be there to listen and he attached himself to that. In the beginning she wasn’t willingly listening to his problems but by the end she was. She took care of him when he was too drunk to go home, or she would let him take his stress and frustration out on her body. However, it doesn’t seem as if Lou is budging; his mind is made up.

“I work long hours. My father is putting more responsibilities on me. I put Y/n in that nice home, the least she could do is not serve me burnt food. Hangin’ around Florence and that Susie woman should have at least influenced her or something,” he continued to complain.

Florence was the last person that would be able to influence a girl like Y/n. Lee didn't know why his wife was seemingly grooming that girl. If anything it was just another person for her to control since Lee started telling her to knock it off. The only time she can get away with controlling her husband is if they're in the company of others where Lee has to be on his best behavior.

Y/n is not the type to be influenced by another woman. The only woman she held in high regard was her mother. Y/n listens to male authority. She listens to a man that will rough her up a little bit but then be sweet on her afterwards. She’s a little fucked up and jaded from her former “profession.” Lee knows this, but not Lou. He seems to know nothing of her past and Lee isn’t going to snitch on her.

“I can talk to Florence and see if she can do something. I know she likes taking people under her wing and shit. She seems to really like Y/n too.”

“I’d greatly appreciate that Lee. I know I sound like I’m hard on her, but I do love her. It’s hard for me to show when she just doesn’t put any effort in.”

"Don't worry. I'll talk to Florence — I'll make everything right."

[sunmoonandeddie]

sunrise

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

word count: 2,798

summary: He’s not sure what he’s done to earn each morning, but fuck, does he love it.

warnings: There’s a fight between the two but it is in fact angst to sweet good fluffiness <333 also cussing lol

a/n:  Thank you so much to @captswilson​ for commissioning this!!!  I had so much fun with it!!!!!!!

There is something majestic about the sun rising.  It peeks through the curtains in Bucky’s room, little bit by little bit.  It illuminates the desk and then creeps across the floor, towards the edge of the bed.

He’d done his best to organize the room in a way that would ensure you wouldn’t wake up to the sun in your eyes.  His precious girl loved sleep and he was going to make sure you got as much of it as you wanted.

The light has only reached the foot of the bed, and he knows he probably has another thirty minutes to an hour before you wake up.  Maybe two if he can find the will to leave your embrace and fix the black out curtains that are supposed to prevent this sort of thing.

But you’re so warm and soft against him and he’d just gotten home from a mission the night before and there’s a million other reasons keeping him in bed and all of them start and end with you.  He’s also scared to get out of bed for the fear of you waking up while he’s not cuddling you.

There’d been a fight the morning of the mission.  One that had resulted in crying and you suggesting that you be gone by the time he got back.

And he hadn’t said a word.  He’d just left.

“Jamie?” You mumbled as you felt him get out of the bed, despite how hard he’d tried to not wake you.

The super soldier winced as he turned around to face you, to look at your sweet, sleepy face.  “Hey, baby…,” he said soothingly as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Where are you going?” You asked, even as your eyes saw his phone in his hand and the message he’d received.  “You’re leaving?”

He hated the way that your voice cracked and the little quiver in your lip.  “It’s just a quick in and out mission, sweetheart,” he said reassuringly.  “I’ll be back in three days tops.”

You were wide awake then, pushing yourself up.

He’s distracted for a moment by the sight of you in one of his t-shirts.  Especially considering that he knows there’s nothing on underneath.

But it wasn’t the time for that.

“Three days?”  Your voice is sharp and bordering on angry now.  Frustration lined the contours of your face as you stared at him, hard.  “But what about our trip?  We’ve been planning this for months and I finally got the time off of work!”

And fuck, he knew that.  He knew that this weekend was special.  It was your anniversary, and you two had finally planned a trip away for yourselves on one of Tony’s private islands in the Caribbean.

But with the mission call, those plans had disappeared, as well as the plans for the ring box buried in his side of the closet, in a pair of unworn boots hidden amongst all the other pairs of black combat boots.

Bucky wanted to tell you to just quit your job and work for Tony or even just let him take care of you.  You’d never have to work again.

“Baby, I have to go,” he said softly as he tried to reach out to cup your cheek.  A crack ran through his heart as you jerked away from his touch.  “You know I do…  They call and—”

“Yeah,” you said, cutting him off as you stared at him long and hard.  “You go.  You always go.  It’s fine.”  But by the tone of your voice, he knows it’s not fine.

He could always read you.  Bucky was able to tell how you were feeling just by how you breathed, the way your hands moved.  But for the first time ever, he can’t.  He has absolutely no clue what you were feeling.

And that scared that absolute shit out of him.

He whispered your name as he tried to reach for you again, but you got off the other side of the bed and stood up, moving towards the closet.  “What are you doing?” He asked.

“You’re the one always leaving.  Maybe I should, too,” you muttered as you began to pull your clothes from the hangers.

“What?!”  He was full blown panicking then.  You couldn’t leave.  “Baby, baby, no.  Don’t leave.  Please.”  He rushed towards the bed, grabbing the clothes you’d already tossed there and began to hang them back up.  “Can’t we talk about this?”

“Talk about what?  Talk about how I’m never going to be your priority?  How you’re going to keep telling me that you’re gonna retire soon, only for it to never happen?”

Bucky knew he didn’t have a right to get angry at that, even though it was true.  He had been telling you for over a year that he’d retire soon and then you two could really settle down.  Maybe get a dog or have a baby.

And every time you asked, he’d just say it wasn’t the right time.

But he did get angry.  He was human, after all.

“Real fucking mature,” he said with a scoff, shaking his head.  “You know, if it wasn’t for my paycheck, and therefore these missions, you wouldn’t even be living in this fancy apartment.  You wouldn’t have a suite you live in for free in the fucking Avengers Tower in the center of Manhattan,” he snapped.  He was going too far, but he was so frustrated and angry.  Because he did want to stay.  He did.  But he had debts to society that he needed to repay.  “Hell, your little office job wouldn’t even pay for an apartment in Jersey City!  I give you everything, and you can’t even handle me going away for a few days so we can have everything that we do!”

You took a step back, your eye glassy.  “So that’s how you feel,” you breathed out.

Bucky had gone way too far.  He’d said things he’d never even thought before, but it had come out because he was hurting and there came that mean streak inside of him that insisted that he hurt you back.

He shook his head, a few rogue tears falling down his cheeks.  “No…  No, that’s not how I feel,” he said quietly.  “Please…  Can we please just talk about this?  I—”  He was cut off as his phone dinged again, and he cursed under his breath as he realized it was Sam texting him that they needed to leave in ten minutes.

A snort.

His eyes met yours right before you looked away, crossing your arms as you moved to the window and stared out at the waking city.  “We’ll talk about this when I get back,” he said definitively.

But as he headed for the door, he heard you say, “Sure we will.”

He was in a state of constant anxiety the entire mission, wanting nothing more than to call you and explain but now knowing exactly what to say.

What could he say?  He was cruel and mean and horrible, and god, he really wouldn’t blame you if you weren’t there when he got back.

The mission ended up taking seventy-nine hours, and he had worked himself into a tizzy the entire jet ride home.

He stormed down the ramp and into the car that would take them to the city, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited for Sam and Wanda to climb in.  “If you don’t hurry up, I’m leaving without you!”

“We get it, you’re excited to go home to your girl,” Sam chuckled as he got in, Wanda quickly following.

She was quiet, and he knew it was most likely because his thoughts were too loud to keep to himself.  There was no way she didn’t know about the fight you two had.

“Did something happen between you two?” Sam asked, glancing over at him as they started towards the city.  “Usually you two are on the phone every chance you get during a mission.”

Bucky’s forehead rested against the cold glass window as he stared at the passing scenery.  “Yeah…  Something like that…”

When they got home, he went straight to your shared apartment, hoping to every god there was that you were still there.  Maybe you’d be at work and you could get that vacation time back and use it next weekend or something.

He just needed his baby.

Bucky’s hand rested on the door handle, his key card in his hand.  He was terrified to go in, and he took a few steadying breaths, just like his therapist had taught him.

What was he gonna do if you were gone?

He finally opened the door, his eyes going wide as he saw you putting away some laundry.  “You stayed,” he breathed out.

“No.  I didn’t,” you said quietly, your voice cracking.  “I left.  I packed all my stuff up and I left and went to a hotel.  But then I…  I couldn’t just leave.”  Tears welled up in your eyes.

“I don’t care,” he said.  “You came back.  That’s what matters.  And I’m here now and I…”  Like the broken man he was, he fell to his knees in front of you and clung to your shirt.  “Baby…  I need you.  I’ll do anything, please…  Just don’t leave me…”

He was surprised when you fell to your knees with him, breaking down as you threw your arms around him.  “I’m sorry I said that stuff.  I love you.  I love you.  I’m so sorry, Jamie.”

Kisses were pressed all over your wet cheeks as he shook his head.  “No, I’m sorry,” he murmured.  “I was cruel and I was lashing out because I was so scared, but I should’ve just talked to you.”

“So you didn’t mean all that stuff?” You whimpered, almost shocked.  “About me using you for your money or whatever?”

“No.  No.  I could never think that stuff.”  He cradled your face in his hands and pressed his lips to yours fiercely.  “I was just upset and lashing out and I…  I swear to you, I will never say anything like that ever again.  But please don’t leave.”

You curled against his chest, comforted by the heat of his embrace.  “I won’t.  I’m not leaving, I promise.  I love you so much.”

“I love you more.”

There’d been a lot of crying last night after you two had made up and talked through everything.

And then a lot of make up sex, but there was usually a lot of sex after he got back from a mission, no matter how long he’d been gone.

A smile creeps t across his lips as he reaches down and lightly brushes his fingers against your inner thighs, feeling the heat from the beard burn he’d left.

Sunlight’s crept a little further up the bed, reaching your tangled legs.  Your foot brushes against his calf as you start to stir, your nose smushed against his chest.

Bucky coos softly, caressing your soft cheek to get you to fall back into your slumber.  It takes a few minutes, but he does it.  Somehow, he manages to untangle your limbs and slip out of the bed undetected.  He freezes as you mumble, shifting towards the warmth of the spot he’s just vacated, and he feels kinda bad.  He knows how much you love how warm he is.

But he needs to get something.

He takes a moment to fix the curtains so you can sleep a little longer before heading for the closet.

Everything is out of its usual order thanks to your hasty exit and then return.  Neither of you had cared much about the proper order of the closet once he had you in his arms.

But that’s beside the point.

It’s not hard to find.  He gets on his knees and goes through the line of his shoes, finding the very last pair of black combat boots.  They’re shiny and brand new, lacking the wear and tear of his other pairs.  Bucky reaches into the right shoe and pulls out a small ring box, his heart hammering.

Is he really gonna do this?

Yeah.  Yeah, he is, because he’d been more scared the past three or so days than he had been in his entire life.

He would rather go through everything Hydra had put him through again than ever risk losing you again.  All the torture, all the pain, all the wiping.  All of it has led him to you and god, it was worth it to wake up to your sweet face.

There weren’t girls like you back in the forties, and he couldn’t imagine going back like Steve had.

But he supposes if Steve felt about Peggy the way he feels about you, then…  How could he blame him?

The lid flips open as he sits on the closet floor, the diamonds gleaming in the light.

It had taken a lot of work to get the ring that had belonged to his Ma, which was ridiculous considering it’s his family.

But the Smithsonian apparently doesn’t like giving back items that could be considered stolen property.

It took him threatening to break in and take it by force (as well as a lot of other stuff) for them to hand it over.

He then got it cleaned and resized for you, and it’s been sitting in that shoe for three months now, waiting for the perfect time.

But there is something he has to do first.

Bucky creeps to the bedside table, sneaking a glance at your peaceful face as he grabs his phone and then disappears into the bathroom.  It’s there that he types out his message to Pepper and Sam.

Bucky: I’m out of missions permanently.  I’ll train new recruits and if there’s a Thanos level threat, I’ll jump in, but otherwise, I’m done.  I gotta think about my girl.

He turns off his phone before he gets a reply, setting it back on the table as he climbs into bed, the ring box clutched tightly in his hand.  There’s no space for missions when he wants a future with you, with the possibility of a family, maybe a few little ones running around in a few years.  He can’t handle seeing the fear in your eyes when he kisses you goodbye anymore, or the disappointment when he slipped off to the quinjet.

And he wants to be there for your future.  He doesn’t wanna leave you as a widow or a single mother.  He wants to be there with you for every step of life.

His lips press to your forehead as he gently curls around you again.  God, he could just stay in bed with you forever.

“Jamie?”

Bucky can’t say he’s shocked when you wake, your eyes slowly blinking open to find him already looking down at you.  “Good morning, pretty girl,” he whispers, almost like he’s afraid to break the stillness of the morning.

Even though he’s sure it’s almost noon.

He takes a breath, resting his forehead against yours.  “You know how much I love you, right?”

“Well… yeah,” you say quietly as your nimble fingers reach up to run through his shaggy brown hair.  Maybe you would give him a haircut soon, sit on the bathroom sink as he stood in front of you.

“If I…”  Bucky swallows around the lump in his throat, suddenly overcome with emotion.  “If I told you that I texted Sam and told him I’m out of missions forever…  If I told you that from now on I’m only gonna help train new recruits…”

“Yes?”  You don’t move, blinking up at him with a fond smile on your lips.

And god, he’s so grateful for you and your patience.  You know whatever he’s going to say is important and he needs your full attention.

That, and you’re also excited about the possibility of not having to worry about him dying every other week on a mission.

He brings the ring box into view, his mouth drier than the Sahara as he opens it up.  “Will you marry me?” He breathes out.

A giggle escapes your lips as you lean forward and kiss him fiercely, your arms thrown around him.  “I thought you’d never ask,” you mumble against his lips.  Everything that had been said in the heat of the moment those few days ago is forgotten as he slides the ring on your finger and holds you to his chest.

And Bucky can’t help but smile as the sunlight hits your face, illuminating your gorgeous eyes.  He wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve this morning with you, waking up next to you in his t-shirt, but he’d spend the rest of his life earning every single sunrise.